Communities, cliques and a new meme

I was chatting online recently with a friend, someone who I’d consider to be a really popular, successful parent blogger. But this woman doesn’t feel part of the ‘core’ blogging community. “Oh I’m not in with them,” she said. “They just don’t like new people.”

I was a little taken aback.

But then I thought about it. Surveys consistently show that the reason most people blog is to connect – to reach out to like-minded people and become part of a community. Those same surveys also show that something like 95 percent of blogs are abandoned within a few months.

Could it be that it's actually really hard to become part of an online community? And if so, how can the community be more welcoming to new members? Because a growing, thriving community with lots of new voices is a good thing, in my book.

I don't know about cliques, but I would say as an observer that there are bloggers I’ve un-followed on Twitter because I can’t see any point in following them. Their entire Twitter stream is a series of in-jokes directed at five or six of their best mates, and they never bother to respond or reach out to anyone else. That’s not a bad thing per se, but it’s boring as all heck to read.

I also sometimes think the community can be quite insular with memes and awards. The same people tagging the same people, week in, week out. You can almost predict who some people will tag before even reading to the bottom of a post. Again, this isn’t a bad thing by definition. But I suspect it’s quite intimidating to new bloggers. How do you break into that sort of close-knit circle?

So, rather than just wittering on pointlessly, I’m starting a new meme of my own. This meme is called the “You're Welcome Meme”.  I'm tagging three bloggers I really respect as great community builders with this meme: the fabulous Sleep is for the Weak, the Mummy Whisperer  and TheMadHouse. Also, I'd love for the tag to go to Beki at Beki's Bloggy Bits, Heather at Notes from Lapland and Peggy at Perfectly Happy Mum. I can't wait to read all about your favourite new discoveries!

Here are the rules: 

• Visit the new blogs I've introduced you to. If you like them, subscribe!
• Recommend three new blogs you've discovered and loved (if you link back to me, I'll share all the new blog links in a subsequent post)
• Tag three other bloggers and ask them for three new blog reads. 

Here are my three favourite three recently-discovered blogs:

Daisy Darling: written by a teacher, this blog combines family insights, creative projects for kids, vintage fabrics, craft projects and lovely photos. Oh, and there are cats. I'm very keen on Internet cats, until Flea and I find the perfect kitten to add to our family. Daisy Darling is in fact a haberdashery house, which makes gorgeous hats for children and adults.

I love blogs, and great content always means more than great writing. But every so often you find a blog that is written by someone who was BORN to write, and that’s the case with Dad blogger Brit out of Water. His posts about living in New York with his daughters is beautifully written, and just really smart. Also, his Jude Law airport story cracks me up. I, too, am a master of the airport immigration slalom, friend. 

Everyone should read Lavender House. It's painfully honest, inspiring and one of the few blogs I've discovered that I think uses words and pictures together in a seamless way - each one equally important to the story being told. And she's in Brighton, my favourite place in the UK. Everything's more fun by the beach.

Comments

[britoutofwater]

I came back to look at the comments as they have grown exponentially, and thought that I'd add my twopenneth as somebody who has never been part of - or sought to be part of - a blogging clique.

All I can say is that I started blogging as a way to keep in touch with friends and family when I moved from London to New York. The fact that anyone beyond my immediate circle reads it at all is a bonus to me. I write because I love writing, and I would write if I had one person reading or if I had nobody reading. It's so easy to get caught up in our stats (that I know we all read). But the fact is that I could have 700 people come to my site one day, and 20 the next, and yet the 20 people might read in depth and truly appreciate and interact with the content. The 700 might just have been looking for a (non-existent) picture of Jude Law. The fact is that given none of us are making substantial (or indeed, in my case, any) money from our blogs, we should concentrate on writing what we want to write. The day we lose the love of that is the day that we should disappear off into the internet sunset, and let the credits roll as we fade over the horizon.

[Sally]

Great comment, and thanks for coming back!

Bad news on the Jude Law picture, though. Perhaps that's something to think about next time...

More seriously though, I think you submitted your blog for the Tots100 a few months back and I checked you out and was really just blown away by your writing - I think it's just such a great, great blog, and I wanted to tell people about this great new blog I'd found. That's what this post is about. There are so many blogs I see that are samey, and when you find someone who really writes in a way you can connect with, it's such a joy - that's why I blog, I guess - and why I read far, far too many blogs every day.

Having said that, I have a shortcut on my Firefox toolbar to my blog stats. What can Ic say? I am a shallow, shallow person.

[Kelly]

I love this idea for a meme, hope that lots of people pick up and run with it, although I am not sure that my google reader will take the strain!

[Michelle]

Really interesting. Thanks for making me have a good hard think. I have been blogging since last March but my site was only readable by about 10 ten people that I gave the URL to. Only in the last week or 2 have I opened my site up and joined BMB. Then since then I have been obsessed with why I have less followers than every other newbie blog! I do not want to make money or a career from blogging, I think I just want to 'fit in' and 'be liked'. How sad is that? Especially as I have loads of RL and on-line friends already and tbh do not have enough time for them all. I think it is like everything with me - i want it all! I will continue pondering and this may well end up as stand alone post after much debating with myself. Thanks Mich x

[Lisa Pearson]

Thanks so much for the tag Sally, it was really well timed, and has helped me to keep my mind off 'am I in labour or not' - that weird beginning stage!
Here's my post in reply: http://mummywhisperer.wordpress.com/2010/01/24/meme-your-welcome/

[auntiegwen]

Not sure if anyone ever thinks of me as a mummy blogger, but I am a mummy and a blogger,so here's my tuppenyworth.

I love finding new blogs and I love comments but I know that my blog can be viewed 80 times a day and I don't get 80 comments so maybe people do feel a bit awkward commenting.

Please don't, you'll always be welcomed at your aunties xxx

[MrShev]

How do I tag you then? Is it just a link?

I am game to get involved in the scheme. So, I write a blog post saying I like these three blogs that I have found (linking back to you saying that was where I got the idea) and that's it?

Sorry to sound so gormless...

[Tattie Weasle]

To be honest I've been blogging a while but I still get it wrong re the etiquette. I love "meeting people" and hearing their stories and marvel that people take the time to read my posts and comment. Like a lot of real life scenarios you just have the bite the bullet and jump on in, sometimes it aint going to work well sometimes you';ll stumble about and then you'll meet great people and start ot connect. Forums alike BMB and Purplecoo are great for things like that and are wonderful supports. As for twitter well I don't tweet as I can't seem to get connected at present but actually I am not sure what to do if I did get a twitter account - I have an awful feeling me and twitter will be like me and my mobile - comrades of necessity :)