I remember once having a row with a guy friend over an onion.
As you do.
I was asking why, just because the ‘best before’ date was 24 hours earlier, he had felt the need to chuck out a perfectly good onion.
To be fair, this is the kind of thing that happens all the time if you get mixed up with anyone with a science background. Everything has to be done exactly according to algorithm. I once caught my ex weighing frozen peas before boiling them – because the instructions on the packet specified the correct portion size, per person. I’m more likely to throw caution to the wind and just chuck the peas in the pan.
Anyway, I asked my best friend where the onion was. “Did you chuck it out?”
He scowled. “I’m not an idiot, you know.”
Which wasn’t what I’d said. It was just what he heard. Two very different things.
I used to think this was a male quality. But it turns out that Lost in Translation thing also applies to kids. For example, on Monday evening, I said to my daughter:
“We’re a bit short on time, so while I make dinner, can you go and put on your Beavers uniform and come downstairs?”
And she obviously heard something completely different.
Like, “Hey, I wish Spiderman was here to hang out with.”