NotmonkeypornI think it’s well-established now that I’m not a morning person. That’s my excuse for what happened last week, and I’m sticking to it.

Now that Flea’s at school there’s another thing to remember in the mornings – show and tell. This week, though, I thought we had it sussed. We’d been to the South Lakes Wildlife Park at the weekend and had some lovely photos of the animals.

Things start badly when I realise the £35 ink cartridge I bought at Tesco doesn’t fit the printer. Cue lots of rummaging around in drawers before reverting to the time-honoured technique of ‘take the cartridge out and shake it about a bit’.

That sorted, I take the laptop upstairs to the office and fire up iPhoto. It was an unusually sunny morning, so there's a bit of glare on the screen, but I manage to find three decent photos of monkeys, and print them off. Stuffing them into Flea’s book-bag, I congratulate myself on my TOP parenting skills.

This warm feeling lasts until precisely 2pm when I start editing some photos for a client. “Oh, might as well go through those wildlife photos and delete the duds,” I think to myself.

I start scrolling through the photos. Funny, in that photo it almost looks like the monkeys are shagging. Ha! Crop the photo a bit. No, it really does look like they’re….I adjust the angle of the laptop to get a better view, and…oh Holy Mother of God, that monkey is being taken from behind. And in the next photo. Oh, and in that photo, too.

With a slow, horrifying sense of realisation, it dawns on me that – yes, I’ve sent my four-year-old to school with a series of pornographic monkey photos. I bet the teacher LOVED me, that day. 

About 

Sally is a full-time blogger and founder of the Tots100, Trips100, Foodies100 and HIBS100 communities, along with the MAD Blog Awards. She spends a bit too much time on the Internet. She's also a very happy Mum to Flea, the world's coolest ten year old.