FB10Yesterday, Flea knocked over a picture and tried to tell me it wasn't her – it was the dog.

Nice try. Except we don’t have a dog.

Obviously I told Flea that it’s very important to tell the truth and that if she tells the truth, I won’t be angry, I will be proud that she has enough respect for me to be honest.

Like most of my parenting ‘wisdom’ this is nonsense, of course. I’m a compulsive liar as a parent. Some of the untruths I have told this week include:

  • Of course I can make pastry. But I’m allergic to it, so I probably shouldn’t in case I get ill.
  • Sorry, darling, that CD isn’t in the car, you left it in the house, I think. 
  • What chocolate wrapper? Oh that? It’s from last week, I think.
  • It’s a great outfit, I just think it’s a bit cold to wear your red and white stripy shorts and orange t-shirt. 
  • Obviously, I don’t mind you putting up a Spiderman poster in the dining room, but I can’t find the blu tack.
  • I’d make Cheerios but we haven’t got any milk so you have to have a cereal bar.
  • Of course I can tell it’s a cat.
  • What’s a cretin? It’s a bit like a pancake.
  • Fish are called fish because they were discovered by a French guy called Monsieur Le Fish.
  • Mummy can’t carry you because I fell over today and my back hurts.

It's not just me, right?

About 

Sally is a full-time blogger and founder of the Tots100, Trips100, Foodies100 and HIBS100 communities, along with the MAD Blog Awards. She spends a bit too much time on the Internet. She's also a very happy Mum to Flea, the world's coolest ten year old.