Is there an epidemic of single parents having affairs with married men?
I was chatting with a friend recently, who was in the middle of trying to organise a social get-together with the parents from her son’s class at school.
Turns out organising this kind of event is tricky – finding a day when people aren’t working, or don’t have other plans. My friend had suggested an evening get-together but the idea was shot down. Why?
Well, according to one of the school Mums, “all the single Mums will be there, all dressed up, you know…”
Newsflash, ladies. I don’t want to have sex with your husband. I’m a single, working Mum and by 10pm on a Friday night it’s about as much as I can do to crawl into the shower, much less crawl into bed with your fella. Affairs with married men? Not top of my list.
Besides which, I’ve been married. And as it happens, it’s not an experience I’m in any rush to repeat. Imagine what co-habiting could mean for my mug organising system, for starters.
Despite this, it hasn’t passed me by that in four years of living in the small town where I live (where I think I might actually be the only single parent) I’ve only been invited to a handful of evening events. And most of them were at the church.
I have lots of friends, and they’re amazing and we have great play-dates with the kids, and Sunday lunches, and days out – but parties? That’s strictly couple territory. It makes being a single parent quite lonely, sometimes.
I suspect this might change in about five years when some of the Marrieds in my town get divorced and my friends start trying to fix us all up with one another, like dysfunctional Stickle Bricks.
But it’s not like I’m hanging out for that. I’m not going into details on the Internet, for all our sakes, but I do okay in terms of what we might call “company”. I’m certainly not leaning out of the window with a telescope waiting to catch a glimpse of someone else’s man. I am not judging anyone for the choices they might make, but I don’t think it’s fair to assume that the default goal of a single mother is to have affairs with married men in hopes of ‘stealing’ someone away from their spouse.
Most of us don’t do that.
If you are married, though, let me ask you. Why are some women so scared of single Mums? Presumably you also have married female friends who are attractive? Who might be unfaithful to their partners?
You either trust your husband or you don’t. But the simple fact of an attractive woman standing in front of them shouldn’t make any difference that that. And I don’t think it’s even a thing you need to be concerned with.
Are there really armies of single Mums out there with a hook and reel trying to snap up a new man? Or are we being unfair and losing out on friendships because of mistrust?