I’m writing this post in the hope that other grown-ups out there are also crippled by weird fears.
Now, I’m not talking spiders here.
I can deal with spiders.
I’m not scared of the dark.
I’m definitely not freaked out by clowns, big dogs, open spaces, small spaces, snakes or heights.
I am, however, crippled by a number of weird fears. Like… [takes a deep, steadying breath]
Cancelling a dentist appointment.
Handing in the notice on my gym membership.
Letting my hairdresser know I can’t make the appointment.
It’s okay. I know you’re judging me right now.
I’m a grown woman with a mortgage and a car and a semi-respectable career.
How is it that I am STILL putting off calling my dentist to let them know I can’t make that check-up appointment that I scheduled five months ago?
Or that I – a grown ass woman – made my 12 year old daughter call the hairdresser this weekend to tell them I couldn’t make the appointment I’d made for a cut and blow dry?
Even worse, I joined a new gym last week, but my weird fears mean I’m now a member of TWO gyms. Because I can’t quite pluck up the courage to hand in my notice at my old gym.
My business partner, Lindy, thinks I’m insane. She can’t see what my problem is.
I tell her she’s American and couldn’t possibly understand.
I am referring (of course) to the complex web of neuroses that affect English people when we are forced to engage with other people and not live up to our side of the unspoken social contract.
I’m convinced I can’t be the only person whose weird fears mean I would rather go back in time and break up with my first boyfriend than have to go and hand in my notice at the YMCA?
Is it just me?
Please make me feel better – tell me the weird things you’re afraid of, too. Or failing that, just let me know how I can pluck up the courage to stop paying for two gym memberships next month.