One of the lovely things about being a Mummy blogger is picking up hints and tips about parenting. However, that's not the best thing.
No, the best thing is knowing I cannot possibly be the only mother who could write a list like this.
- I forgot to wash Flea’s blazer during half-term. I fished it out of the laundry basket at 8am on Monday morning and sprayed it with Febreze.
- When Flea was a baby, the best thing I ever bought wasn’t a creative and inspiring toy or some developmentally superior feeding accessory. It was a box of ear plugs.
- I can’t bake. This means that every single birthday cake Flea’s ever had has been ordered from either M&S or Waitrose.
- We have never made anything out of cardboard boxes. Ever.
- Once I let Flea have a day off school because I couldn't make myself get out of bed.
- I don’t want to cry when I see that Flea is getting older. I quite enjoy it, really. And besides, while I loved Flea a lot when she was a baby, she was mostly boring and frequently irritating.
- Hand on heart, I can’t remember the last time I cooked Flea a home-made meal that wasn’t based on pasta and pesto, rice and peas, or noodles and soy sauce.
- I have, on occasion, forgotten to collect Flea from school.
- I got my daughter’s date of birth wrong when I registered her with the local GP. When the receptionist realised it was wrong and phoned me, I blamed my ex-husband and said he must have filled the form in incorrectly.
- When the batteries died in Flea’s Fur Real dog, I told her that the toy was broken and we had to throw it away.