One of the lovely things about being a Mummy blogger is picking up hints and tips about parenting. However, that’s not the best thing.
No, the best thing is knowing I cannot possibly be the only mother who could write a list like this.
Let’s face it, perfection in parenting is over-rated. I like to think that parental mediocrity gives my child invaluable opportunities to learn about grace in failure, perseverance (like taking ten attempts to fix something) and the gift that is accepting sometimes ‘good enough’ is as good as it’s going to get.
One of the reasons I love blogging is that moment that someone comments on your content to say, “Hey, I did that too!” Sometimes parenting can be tough and lonely, and it’s good that those days when we feel like we’ve messed up, there’s a friendly Mum who’s also in the trenches, telling you that we’ve all got this, in the ways that really matter.
So here, for your enjoyment are ten reasons that I am a terrible mother. But the good news is that my daughter? She loves me anyway. And I’m willing to bet, so do all of your children!
- I completely forgot to wash Flea’s blazer during half-term. I fished it out of the laundry basket at 8am on Monday morning and sprayed it with Febreze. Who will ever know?
- When Flea was a baby, the best thing I ever bought wasn’t a creative and inspiring toy or some developmentally superior feeding accessory. It was a box of ear plugs. Sleep is a parent’s greatest superpower.
- I can’t bake. This means that every single birthday cake Flea’s ever had has been ordered from either M&S or Waitrose. Guess what? She didn’t know the difference.
- We have never made anything out of cardboard boxes. Ever. Sometimes Flea just sits in a box and seems perfectly happy, so why over-complicate matters?
- Once I let Flea have a day off school because I couldn’t make myself get out of bed.
- I don’t want to cry when I see that Flea is getting older. I quite enjoy it, really. And besides, while I loved Flea a lot when she was a baby, she was mostly boring and frequently irritating.
- Hand on heart, I can’t remember the last time I cooked Flea a home-made meal that wasn’t based on pasta and pesto, rice and peas, or noodles and soy sauce.
- I have, on occasion, forgotten to collect Flea from school.
- I got my daughter’s date of birth wrong when I registered her with the local GP. When the receptionist realised it was wrong and phoned me, I blamed my ex-husband and said he must have filled the form in incorrectly.
- When the batteries died in Flea’s Fur Real dog, I told her that the toy was broken and we had to throw it away.
Go ahead, tell me the reasons YOU’RE a terrible mother in the comments, and let’s see if we really are all in it together.