Diary of a Perfect Mother

coffee
Do you ever find yourself wondering, "How could I be a better working parent?" 

Wonder no longer, friends, for the answer is simple: be more like me

Oh yes. Here's my morning (so far) for your education and improvement. Read it and weep. 

7.45am: Alarm goes off. Hit snooze, forgetting reason for early alarm is so you can get to 10am meeting on time. 

8.00am: Alarm goes off. Hit snooze. 

8.15am: Alarm goes off. Shout, "Flea, time to get up." Fall asleep. 

8.30am: Mumble, "the one with the green top," when Flea wakes you to ask which milk to have with her breakfast. 

8.40am: Peer at the clock. Swear. Jump out of bed and put on assortment of clothes found on floor. 

8.47am: Get in car. Drive to school. 

8.55am: Congratulate self on only being 5 minutes late to school. Deliver Flea to classroom. See all other children neatly dressed in PE kit. Bugger. Text to delay meeting until 11am. 

9.00am: Rush out of school to car park, and help small child find PE kit in boot of car. Rush back into school, help child get changed. Deposit child in school hall for special performance, which is now reaching the grand finale. 

9.10am: Back in car. Enter destination of morning's meeting into Sat-Nav. Congratulate self on rescuing the morning and actually remembering the Sat-Nav and meeting location. Drive towards the motorway. 

9.15am: Think, "Hmm. Wonder if I've got my bank card." 

9.17am: Discover answer to this question is, inevitably, "no". 

9.20am: Turn car around and drive home. Delay meeting to 12pm. 

9.30am: Get home and realise bank cards are not in any of the 'obvious' places 

9.40am: While rifling through desk, remember there's a press trip tomorrow, leaving at 5am, and you have no idea where the train tickets are. 

9.45am: Call PR, realise tickets are being delivered to home address today, before 1pm. Cancel meeting entirely. 

10am: No bank cards to be found, also on the Missing in Action list: mobile phone charger, Flea's passport, anything resembling clean clothes for 3 day trip. 

10.10am: Decide to stuff the lot of them and make yourself a large cup of coffee and scoff 2 chocolate Hob Nobs for breakfast, with a multi-vitamin so you can make at least a vague gesture towards healthy living. 

 

So much achieved already, and the day has hardly begun!

Please tell me other people live like this. 

 

About 

Sally is a full-time blogger and founder of the Tots100, Trips100, Foodies100 and HIBS100 communities, along with the MAD Blog Awards. She spends a bit too much time on the Internet. She’s also a very happy Mum to Flea, the world’s coolest ten year old.

20 Comments

  1. 3rd November 2011 / 10:24 am

    This is why you are my inspiration. I so look up to you

  2. Vic
    3rd November 2011 / 10:29 am

    Agreed!

  3. 3rd November 2011 / 10:34 am

    Yip, that sounds like our house. My husband ran around blaming me for stuff that he had filed in the wrong place. I hope the rest of your day goes to plan.

  4. 3rd November 2011 / 11:34 am

    Remarkable!
    Hmm sounds remarkably like my life only make it a 6am start after ignoring my 5:30am alarm for three consequtive ‘snoozes’.
    Well done you for all the activity by only 10am though! My morning acheivemant was getting child to childminders, attending a PR event, drinking an entire Starbucks uninterupted and fitting in a 30min power walk all before getting to work all of 90mins late! Go team super mummies!!

  5. 3rd November 2011 / 11:51 am

    This is awesome. I’m glad I’m not the only one who keeps hitting the snooze button. You are a true inspiration. x

  6. 3rd November 2011 / 1:29 pm

    Of course. With a sticker on the ‘good Mum’ chart, probably.

  7. 3rd November 2011 / 1:29 pm

    I found the ATM card under cheesecake, that was a bonus.

  8. 3rd November 2011 / 4:30 pm

    I work to much the same agenda in the best interests of promoting independence in my children and spontaneity in my life. At least that’s what I tell myself, and I think it sounds quite grown-up!

  9. 3rd November 2011 / 8:30 pm

    lol, you make me feel normal. I have to get up at 7am latest. always end up being late with girls, constantly forget to go to the open classrooms (missed twins this afternoon) and always forget the extra kit they require. At least all 3 now all have plenty of school uniform to get them through the week *blush*

  10. 3rd November 2011 / 8:58 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing your handy tips. With each one I feel better and better prepared for when my daughter starts school next year 🙂

  11. 3rd November 2011 / 11:30 pm

    What you need is a sick dog. After a comfy three-snooze-and-still-asleep start I was prodded sharply a wake by son. No.3. with a self-important stage whisper (Daddy was still happily sleeping)
    “The dog’s been sick. Or wee-ed. Not sure which. It LOOKS like wee. There’s no lumps. But I think it was sick. It smells like sick. Maybe she ate…”
    “I’m UP, I’m UP!!!!”

  12. johanna
    4th November 2011 / 8:25 am

    back to school on tuesday involved rescuing the PE kit back out of the laundry mountain where it had been festering for half term and giving it back to my child to wear for another 6 weeks. followed by the usual where have i put my keys, wheres your bookbag, wheres your coat, i havent made your lunch, your drink bottle smells like 99 % proof alcohol but im going to chuck more apple juice in there because if i dont get on the road now ill sit in traffic all morning and arrive at my school just as the kids are going to lunch :((( one day i’ll put things somewhere sensible every day…. maybe

  13. 4th November 2011 / 7:12 pm

    And all this before 10.10am – I admire your productivity.

  14. Lorraine The Party Times
    5th November 2011 / 9:16 pm

    day starts by 5 in our house at the moment so have done loads of chores etc by 7 and am knackered by 9…sure this phase will pass!

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