Disagreement: not a dirty word, is it?

I’ve been blogging for a while now. I’ve seen spats and snarking aplenty but I have also found that parent bloggers are usually incredibly supportive of one another and tend to go out of their way to help each other out.

That’s a lovely thing to be a part of, but I am wondering whether we need a bit more disagreement in our lives.

Different

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t think we need more Dynasty-style drama, sniping, or  anonymous hate blogs. But maybe we need more honest-to-goodness, old-fashioned opinions.

I’ve seen a couple of comments this week on the Blogger.Ed forums from bloggers who say they don’t feel able to express opinions on their blogs, for fear that they will be targeted, excluded, judged or otherwise subjected to unpleasantness.

If this is true, it is a bit worrying. For starters, I’m not sure it’s THAT hard for bloggers to express opinions, even if they might be unpopular. For example:

  • I judge you if you watch the X-Factor
  • I think Justin Bieber should have had his Internet privileges revoked a long time ago
  • I think people who drive MPVs have probably given up on life, just a little bit
  • Posting pictures of gravestones on Facebook is weird

See?

These are some of my opinions – based on my personality, prejudices and experience. Since my personality is different to yours (some might say better, but we don’t need to go into that right now) it stands to reason that my opinions are different.

Since this is my blog and I am Master Of All I Publish, I’m allowed to share my opinions and you can’t stop me.  But here’s the cool thing about blogging – you can share your opinion too. So if you’re a passionate Belieber and prepared to admit that online, then please tell me about it in the comments. I won’t mind.

Furthermore, I promise not to give up blogging because you’re SO mean, or tell all my friends that you’re terrorising me so we can all block you on Twitter, unfriend you on Facebook and never speak to you again because you are DEAD TO US.

Here’s the thing: I like to talk, I like ideas and I like debate. I think the best ideas happen when people challenge one another’s thinking.

Debate – when it’s done well – makes your blog engaging, vibrant, interesting.  Blogs and communities that don’t debate things quickly become dull and lifeless.

If I could say one thing to bloggers who are nervous of getting involved in debate  it’s this – someone commenting on your blog, and taking time out of their life to engage with you is paying you a HUGE compliment, even if comes in the form of “you’re completely wrong on every possible level”.

Rather than feeling attacked, I’d tell my blogging buddies to be flattered, because your words, passion and perspective have  moved someone to think about an issue, to start a conversation with you. That’s pretty cool. Sure, occasionally, you’ll get unlucky and someone will be obnoxious or aggressive, but that’s THEIR problem not yours, and for the most part, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised because pretty much all of the bloggers I’ve ever met are reasonable, smart, funny and supportive people.

Some smart arse reading this post will be thinking, oh but Sally, in June you Tweeted that the number one rule of social media is never get into a fight on the Internet.  You’re such a hypocrite.

Not so, amigo.  Disagreement isn’t fighting. It’s conversation. It’s sharing ideas and maybe trying to win people over to your point of view. That’s all.  If you write a post about how amazing high heels are, I’m coming over there to fight the good Converse fight. Consider that fair warning.

If you’re struggling to tell the difference between debating and fighting, then check out these top tips from the (future) best-seller The Who’s the Mummy Guide to Disagreeing with People on the Internet:

  • We all have opinions – and they’re as unique as we are. So if you write about your opinion, it’s inevitable that someone, somewhere won’t agree.  This is normal, healthy and not a judgement about you as a human being
  • When someone disagrees with you, providing they are not abusive, give them the courtesy of publishing their comment. Blogs that have a stream of “Wow, great post!” comments are sadder than a basket of lame puppies.
  • Keep relevant. If you’re disagreeing with someone’s take on breastfeeding, then going off on a tangent and insulting their teeth just looks silly
  • Support other bloggers who express opinions. Even if you don’t agree, a quick “great debate” or “really interesting argument” can go a long way to creating a vibrant, interesting community where debate is supported and encouraged
  • By all means be passionate, but don’t disagree with people when you’re drunk, emotional or hormonal. It will only ever end badly.
  • Be sincere. There are a small minority of internet users who pretend to feel strongly on an issue simply to stir up heated debate and ill feeling. They’re called trolls and being a troll makes your hair fall out. Well, this isn’t strictly true, but it should be.

What do you think?  How do you handle it when someone disagrees with you?  Can it be a positive experience? Or do you disagree with me completely?

About 

Sally is a full-time blogger and founder of the Tots100, Trips100, Foodies100 and HIBS100 communities, along with the MAD Blog Awards. She spends a bit too much time on the Internet. She’s also a very happy Mum to Flea, the world’s coolest ten year old.

72 Comments

  1. 8th November 2011 / 9:25 pm

    I don’t think we’ve ever had a conversation where we haven’t disagreed. I know this because you always say: ‘I don’t agree’ to make it obvious. They were all good conversations. That is all.

  2. 8th November 2011 / 9:28 pm

    This is true. Except I note that you didn’t disagree that time I said you terrify me.

  3. 8th November 2011 / 9:34 pm

    Hahaha…I’m a belieber! My blog post today is actually all about him!
    I’m a firm believer in ‘Each to their own’ Its what makes the world a more interesting place. I rarely judge people on their likes or dislikes and I’m actually more drawn to opinionated personalties. There is no need to be spiteful or nasty if someone shares a view different to our own and I’m baffled by people who do it.

  4. Nikki
    8th November 2011 / 9:37 pm

    Going to have to apologise for my lame-ness now Sally and say that I actually love all of your posts and 99% of the time agree with you – and I’m not a stalker :-))))
    Also love your disorganised school runs and makes me feel pretty good about mine :-))

  5. 8th November 2011 / 9:38 pm

    Really? A Belieber? Cripes. I am so heading off to read your post, now!

  6. 8th November 2011 / 9:40 pm

    I love debate. But then I even have a soft spot for trolls.. 🙂 In fact have recently actively asked people who’ve had opposing opinions on matters to comment on posts. It’s a boring world if we all agree. The very best is when people start debating amongst themselves on your blog – now that is a true accolade. 🙂 Doesn’t happen very often, have to say but when it does – pure magic!
    PS – who’s posting gravestones on Facebook and can I friend them? 🙂

  7. 8th November 2011 / 9:42 pm

    I’m not going to help matters here. I once wrote a sponsored post about children’s vitamins. I don’t hold strong views on children’s vitamins so I titled it ‘Do you give your children vitamins?’ It wasn’t a particularly interesting post but I found the comments interesting as it’s a subject of interest to me, if you get my drift. In response to that post a male blogger in his 20s who doesn’t know me or my blog and isn’t a parent blogger, wrote a post titled ‘Bullshit Mummy Blogger’. His post was all about me.
    I’m not sure if it’s still there now and if it is the content will have been altered, but it was basically saying something about me giving my child vitamins when she didn’t need them. It wasn’t a valid arguement, it didn’t relate to my post, I doubt my post had even been read. My point is that it was an online attack on me and it’s the worst thing that has happened to me in my four years of blogging. I am now cautious about inviting debate. I simply don’t want to put myself in the firing line.
    I agree that parenting bloggers can be, and often are, incredibly supportive. I’ve met some of the best of them. But it isn’t just mummies that read mummy blogs, and not everyone out there plays nice.

  8. 8th November 2011 / 9:43 pm

    I am so pleased my lack of skill makes you happy 🙂

  9. 8th November 2011 / 9:44 pm

    Absolutely agree – or do I? Disagreement and different opinions make blogging (and the world) a far more interesting place and that a difference of opinion is vastly different to being offensive or abusive.
    However, I take issue with your statement about MPVs – I have not given up on life!! (Just on owning a sports car/decent car/car I’d be showing off to all and sundry). 🙂

  10. 8th November 2011 / 9:44 pm

    I think the gravestone thing is Catholic, maybe – I don’t know. I find it a bit macabre, but then I’m methodist, we don’t hold with that sort of thing.
    I agree, I love when people start debating among themselves on a blog, it’s brilliant.

  11. 8th November 2011 / 9:45 pm

    Hmmmmm…. I think I may have an MPV. Am not very good with car terminology. It’s only because I have more children than sense, though. Have I given up on life? I don’t know – I can’ really be bothered to answer the question.
    Great post. I agree i think people can share their views without being offensive and personal – in blogging and real life.

  12. 8th November 2011 / 9:45 pm

    Thanks for writing this. I agree with you on all points. I don’t like back stabbing, or meanies.
    I am a straight talking person like yourself who started a blog as a way of vocalising my opinions and thoughts. I don’t like to admit this, but this week I have done just that and not blogged on an issue that I normally would have and I’m still not sure why not!
    Btw, I watch X Factor. Used to love it, but this yearbis rubbish!

  13. 8th November 2011 / 9:46 pm

    Well, I think it’s a really interesting point – you’re someone who’s experienced the 1% of Internet users who are idiots and probably just want to have a row with someone, or are looking for information to support a prejudice.
    I think it’s a real shame that would have put you off sharing debates with your readers when, as you say, the debate on your blog was interesting and useful. That’s really sad.
    As I said on Blogger.Ed maybe what we need is a SWAT team to support bloggers when that sort of thing happens, to remind you that you are the one who is right and normal (except when mistaking houmous for lemon mousse, obviously) and the Other People are the trolls.

  14. 8th November 2011 / 9:47 pm

    An MPV just screams “Dad car” to me, I can’t help it.

  15. 8th November 2011 / 9:48 pm

    As I said to Jen, for me an MPV is a Dad car and while I’m still fooling myself that I am young and relevant, it’s unacceptable to me. But I only have one child, so…
    I agree with you on the disagreement thing, though – it’s about disagreeing without resorting to being offensive, and that’s totally okay to do!

  16. 8th November 2011 / 9:49 pm

    I knew the lemon mousse incident would come back to haunt me!

  17. 8th November 2011 / 9:49 pm

    Ah, thanks Jo, I’m glad you like the post. So many bloggers are interesting, opinionated people and I LOVE to read that – like Jane, I think blogs are so much more interesting for a bit of debate.
    As for X-Factor, would it be okay if I just took your word for it?

  18. 8th November 2011 / 9:50 pm

    Totally agree. My one pet peeve on blogs is when the blogger doesn’t appear to have an opinion, on anything. Just straddling the fence so as not to offend anyone or rock the boat, too which I say, grow a pair. Seriously, not everyone’s gonna like you or the way you think but such is life. If you can’t handle it, get off the internet. This should be the one place you can really be who you are. As you say Sally, there’s a difference between disagreeing/healthy debate and arguing (and also, just being straight up hurtful and unnecessary). I love it when a good debate happens in my comment section – it’s often made me see things from a totally different point of view and I’m not scared to admit when I wrong (which admittedly, is like, hardly ever *ahem*).
    Bloggers have to let that fear go though. It’s unrealistic to think everyone’s gonna agree with you and if you’re truly going to have any meaningful interaction online, you have to give people the option to say so.

  19. 8th November 2011 / 9:54 pm

    Too good not to mention at least twice a year.

  20. 8th November 2011 / 9:55 pm

    Er…I agree. Conversation’s good. Abuse less so. There was an interesting article in the Guardian yesterday about sexist abuse online. http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/nov/07/abusive-sexist-comments-online. I encountered this in a small way the other day when I joined in a Twitter trend #feministwishlist. It wasn’t nice to be tweeted by a total stranger with the words ‘get back in the kitchen, bitch.’ Was it supposed to be a joke? It wasn’t funny.

  21. 8th November 2011 / 9:57 pm

    I can’t tell you what you do or don’t feel. I’d be surprised if it weren’t a joke.

  22. 8th November 2011 / 10:04 pm

    Well, ‘fortunately’ nobody reads my little blog except my mum and a couple of my friends so we haven’t had any heated debates yet, despite me being opinionated on certain aspects of parenting (they all just probably secretly think I’m a wanker now).
    I do agree with you that debates are healthy, useful and fun. I think people get scared that debates will cross the line from arguments into attacks because I think quite a lot of people struggle to put an opposing opinion across without being aggressive, particularly if the post has touched a nerve.
    One of my (ex!) Facebook friends once took their dead goldfish, put it in an ice cube tray, made a ‘goldfish in an ice cube’, photographed it and then put the pictures on Facebook. That was about as weird as gravestones, I think.

  23. 8th November 2011 / 10:05 pm

    From my perspective, there’s no justification for abuse, and the abuse I see directed at some female bloggers is truly frightening on occasion. Misogyny is alive and well on Twitter and in blogging, I’m sad to say. Your experience sounds awful, I hope it didn’t put you off Tweeting?

  24. 8th November 2011 / 10:05 pm

    While I’ve been nodding sagely throughout most of this post, there is one point that I most vehemently disagree with: you don’t watch X Factor?! What’s wrong with you woman?! You do know Gary Barlow’s one of the judges now don’t you? That is all.

  25. 8th November 2011 / 10:07 pm

    I don’t read the Daily Mail because it bores/ offends me. I don’t agree with everything in the Guardian but it challenges me, so I read it. I don’t see why it can’t be the same for blogs. If you don’t like a blog, don’t read it. Vote with your mouse or touch screen on your smartphone. Sparking a debate on the comments section means good engagement, even if it is a fight, so you’re only enhancing someone’s social media stats by getting sucked in.

  26. 8th November 2011 / 10:13 pm

    I drive an MPV and am proud of it. My hubby if/when he owns a car does NOT drive an MPV. He doesn’t like them at all. He is 6:4 and paranoid of his legs getting caught in a short nose car in an accident. I am 5 ft nothing, and love a good MPV.
    I currently drive a 7 seater, but would like to upgrade to an 8 (there are actually 7 of us in the family, I don’t drive it for fun). Fun for me, would be a VW Bug or Mini Cooper. My next MPV will have leather seats with warmers, to keep my lazy, given up on life butt warm! It needs to have blue tooth capabilities to sync with my iPhone so that I can listen to my podcasts when I drive, and it has to have a decent cup holder that fits MY travel mug, given that driving with my coffee IV causes me concentration issues! The boot needs to be larger than life and if I can find a car that looks slightly blingy (read silver) then life is sweeter than a River Cottage veggie cocktail.
    Personally I think it shows that I embrace life, with all it’s abundance of, chocolately covered hands, muddy puddled boots and hairy, slobbering dogness. I mean, how much more life can I possibly embrace?
    A little more maybe. Although I am somewhat worried about popping out of my c-section scars, leaving internal organs on the outside of my jeans. A look I am sure Gok Wan will not be trying to emulate on the High Street.
    Perhaps it is in trading my life for theirs right now that is really the struggle for the non MPV driving, ‘Eat, Love, Pray” loving community? Who knows?
    “Wow, great post btw.”
    *smiles* *winks* and says, “Hi, my name is Ria and it’s very nice to meet you.”

  27. Domestic goddesque
    8th November 2011 / 10:40 pm

    I don’t know whether I agree or disagree with this post…..primarily because it doesn’t appear to mention the words chocolate or cake. That always confuses me.

  28. 8th November 2011 / 10:49 pm

    Yes this all makes a lot of sense, and interestingly I once wrote a blog post about having given up because we’d bought an MPV. I think many of us need to get braver about what we want to say, personally I play things very safe on my blog these days and maybe I should be more open about what I want to write *head off to write three barnstorming controversial blog posts*. I think if someone writes something contentious and they get attacked for it, people are worried about showing them support because they might become a target too. Sad really. As a community we could change that.

  29. susie@newdaynewlesson
    9th November 2011 / 4:07 am

    Hmmmmppphhh. I have a MPV and I love it (except the petrol guzzling part). Too bad I didn’t get a chance to take you for a spin in it. 🙂 It did get me to the meeting points with you guys.

  30. susie@newdaynewlesson
    9th November 2011 / 4:08 am

    LMAO!

  31. susie@newdaynewlesson
    9th November 2011 / 4:09 am

    My biggest issue lately about saying what I really feel is because I have family members reading it and some of my biggest struggles right now are around my feelings regarding some family issues.
    Don’t think I stir up too much debate on my blog. Hmmmm , wonder if that’s what;s wrong. 🙂

  32. Sara
    9th November 2011 / 5:10 am

    I stick to the concept that I will write what I believe. I’m not expecting others to agree, except for even like but they are my words and my opinions. I have had a few emails telling me that my blog would be better if I didn’t mention my faith the worst was though someone telling me to shut up about my dead daughter.
    There is a place for healthy debate and I think that is a great thing but one thing I’ve learned from the blogging world is that people are more open and critical when behind a computer and in some cases damn right cruel.
    Saying that though I am who I am and if people don’t like it well hey they don’t have to read do they?

  33. 9th November 2011 / 9:12 am

    My flatmate used a dead goldfish as part of her art work in university!
    But that was just to be controversial.
    Maybe this is what the anonymous back stabbing blogs are there for to be controversial. I don’t know.
    I’m anonyomus as in I don’t give out my name on my blog and the names of my kids out, husbands, friends etc but I won’t shy from posting what I think – my blog -ergo my feelings/words.
    BNM

  34. 9th November 2011 / 9:25 am

    Am literally without words at that goldfish story. How many ‘likes’ did it get?
    I think you’re right about it being hard sometimes to express disagreement without sounding controversial but I also think, as bloggers, women and grown-ups, we need to TOUGHEN UP a little bit and accept that not everyone who says “I think you’re wrong” is necessarily attacking us personally.

  35. 9th November 2011 / 9:25 am

    I know. But even for Gary Barlow, I can’t make myself sit through it. What if it made me hate him? How would I go on?

  36. 9th November 2011 / 9:26 am

    Well, quite – I often look a good spat in someone’s comments and imagine the blogger rubbing their hands in glee at all those page views.

  37. 9th November 2011 / 9:27 am

    Interesting that you think debating is a skill – I suppose you’re right, given that it’s taught in schools. I think as a blogger you set the ‘tone’ for your blog, and what is and isn’t acceptable. If your posts are reasonably robust but polite, then that sets a tone for comments, I think. Certainly, whenever I debate on my blog, I try to word things strongly but with a sense of humour, so people (hopefully) don’t take things too much to heart. But it can be tricky.

  38. 9th November 2011 / 9:29 am

    I can’t tell you how much I love that you defend your MPV. I think you’re wrong, of course, but I like the passion. I didnt think it was possible to have passionate feelings about an MPV *cough*
    Thanks for commenting, it’s very nice to meet you! Am following on Twitter, too.

  39. 9th November 2011 / 9:30 am

    I apologise but I didn’t think it was possible to debate chocolate or cake. Both unquestionably good things, surely?

  40. My Shitty Twenties (Emily Morris)
    9th November 2011 / 9:31 am

    Ace post Sally, with some excellent points. It’s not that I’m not grateful for all the lovely responses and comments of encouragement I get on my blog, but I’ve been doing it for three years and have only ever had a handful of disagreers. Perhaps the people who disagree are less inclined to comment – or more probably, they’re not reading it. I still think people should get braver.
    Emily
    PS – I am also prone to bouts of X Factor judgement (although not in the same capacity as Simon and Cheryl.)

  41. 9th November 2011 / 9:31 am

    I love this comment, and what I’m thinking is that if people are nervous then obviously the people who can change that are US – only by going out there, and expressing disagreement constructively, and supporting people who express disagreement, does the whole thing become less taboo – and I’m convinced, 100%, that it’s a lot more fun that way. You’re quite right – we absolutely CAN change the way things are perceived.

  42. 9th November 2011 / 9:32 am

    But disagreeing with your family sometimes is just part of life. Why not talk about that?
    That doesn’t necessarily mean you should write things that would be hurtful of your family online, or that you have a right to violate someone else’s privacy – I’m a big believer in the old saying, “He who speaks ill of his mother says more about himself than her”

  43. 9th November 2011 / 9:35 am

    Wow, you’re quite right, of course that people can say terrible things from behind the safety of a computer screen. I’ve had some experience of that on this blog, with people saying my daughter would be better off if I was dead, that I’m crazy, that I’m a bitch etc etc.
    I think at first I found it hurtful, very hurtful if I’m honest, and it still isn’t ever nice but what I have learned is those comments are ALL about the other person and nothing to do with me, and I have learned to shrug them off, most of the time. Some people just aren’t good people, and I count myself lucky that I only know a minority of people I’d put into that category.

  44. 9th November 2011 / 9:36 am

    Absolutely – let’s be braver! I think if there was more disagreement on blogs then there would be less interest in stupid anonymous hate blogs and passive-aggressive snarking on Twitter – imagine if it was just okay to say, “Actually, my opinion on this is a bit different to yours – here’s why…”
    Wouldn’t THAT be cool?

  45. 9th November 2011 / 10:20 am

    Great post – I think we all need to remember that disagreement is fine as long as it’s done the right way. As you say, disagree on relevant things, don’t make it personal.
    Ironically this is stuff I’ve had loads of training on in a work context – there is a skill in giving “feedback” in a non-emotional way. It’s all about the way you do it. This is the kind of life skill that we should be teaching our kids IMHO.
    Oh, and by the way, I love my MPV so much I bought another one! Yes, I do indeed own TWO MPVs! And they’re great. I fully appreciate they’re not for everyone, but I’m quite happy to give you a tour of mine and show you why I love them so much 🙂

  46. 9th November 2011 / 12:13 pm

    I do agree, but in the dim and distant past I once wrote something which I thought was funny which clearly encouraged someone to feel so aggrieved that they sent me some sinister death threats. Its those people you need to be worried about, the unhinged, they are probably the ones with anonymous blogs and troll tendencies.
    I tend to think that most people are reasonable and like to engage in debate but there is always one who takes it personally and then if they are in a clique which does happen in parenting circles it can ruin your blog long term as they bad mouth you, unfriend etc etc which affects your confidence and ability to post what you want.
    So, although I agree in principle and actually personally I’m at a stage where I just post what I like without thought about consequence, I do think that its wise to be a bit cautious. Especially a blogger who is just starting up as if you haven’t been through it all before it could destroy you, just a little bit.

  47. 9th November 2011 / 12:45 pm

    Hmm. Here’s the thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.
    We know there are people who are a bit unhinged and are completely unable to differentiate between “I disagree with you” and “I hate you and want you to die”.
    Some of those people blog and have weird ideas about how important they are and how nobody is ever allowed to disagree with them. And yes, sometimes if you disagree with them, you’re in for months of blocking, sniping, bitching, unfriending and general nastiness. I’ve been there. It’s terrible, I know.
    What I strongly believe these days is that this is NOT okay on any level. I’m not going to stand for it, and I’m damn sure not going to be intimidated by it. My blog, my rules, my opinion – if you don’t like it, then have a conversation with me about it, or go and read something else. It’s THAT simple.
    All it takes to resolve this issue is for a big chunk of bloggers to openly, loudly and proudly say YES, I have opinions, you have opinions and that’s a really good, important and valuable thing and anyone who doesn’t accept that needs to shut up and sit down, already.
    That may possibly sound a bit like a rant. But, erm, it is. Sorry about that.

  48. 9th November 2011 / 12:47 pm

    I agree, everyone is entitled to your opinion and I am always honoured by people taking the time out to comment. I think it’s your blog you should be able to write what you want but have to be prepared that not everyone will agree with you.

  49. Amelia Dale
    9th November 2011 / 1:39 pm

    I like this post – although I don’t think we should entirely criticize people for sitting on the fence – some people simply can’t hack criticism and it probably is wise for them not to be too opinionated as a result. Equally, I don’t like blogs that are too in-your-face about opinions – it looks too try-hard and zeitgeist to be believable. It is a delicate balance. Debate is exactly the right word.
    As for weird aggressive readers, get this – I recently wrote on my blog about getting trapped inside a vintage playsuit and having to spit on my arm as lubrication to get out of it (yes, really). I got LOADS of emails telling me what a disgusting little feral animal I was and how I should jump off a bridge. For a little bit, I was upset. Then I grew some balls and wrote “WOOF” back to all of them.
    So if in doubt, if you can’t beat the haters, join them x

  50. Nikki
    9th November 2011 / 2:44 pm

    Not so much a lack of skills – quite the contrast – it takes (Im sure many)skills to be THAT school run crazy tee hee hee

  51. 9th November 2011 / 3:01 pm

    I am now very tempted to run off and blog all of my very strong opinions. The few times I have tried, though, I’ve tended to get no comments whatsoever, where a blog comparing baby groups and the school gate gets a whole bunch of them (OK, the top one at the moment is a political rant, but that’s definitely not representative). Probably won’t, though, because I am a big scaredy cat and don’t like people disagreeing with me.
    Oh, and I almost bought an MPV a few weeks ago and don’t even drive. I shocked myself a bit, and will now aim for a falling-apart Beetle.

  52. 9th November 2011 / 3:01 pm

    ‘baby groups and the school gate to dating’ that should have read. Meh. Read before hitting ‘Post’, Tasha!

  53. 9th November 2011 / 3:13 pm

    I love XFactor and high heels, but I also value and welcome others opinions. I’m with you on Bieber though Sally, gives me the creeps

  54. 9th November 2011 / 3:48 pm

    Far better to have opinions and views and to hold them and defend them rather than to just post pictures of kittens in my view – fights are one thing, healthy debate is another

  55. 9th November 2011 / 9:09 pm

    I’ve just started blogging and I did exacty this the other day. I had an opinion and was too scared to be firm about that for fear of backlash. Next time I won’t be so shy. Promise.

  56. 9th November 2011 / 11:28 pm

    I think not everyone embraces debate and it’s okay if it’s not for you – I just think if you DO enjoy debate but don’t do it out of fear of what might happen, then it’s a shame. If that makes sense?

  57. 9th November 2011 / 11:28 pm

    I won’t even debate the Bieber. Just wrong.

  58. 9th November 2011 / 11:29 pm

    Quite right! Although I did once post a picture of a kitten. In my defence, it was wearing a comedy hat. I don’t know if that’s better or worse…

  59. 10th November 2011 / 12:53 am

    Aw well, you’ll get over it sooner or later. One day you will realize your need to be right is not as powerful as me simply being right. *sneeze*
    🙂

  60. Heather
    10th November 2011 / 11:49 am

    So, anyway, did you watch the xfactor this weekend?

  61. 10th November 2011 / 1:06 pm

    It is a shame. Yes. I am vowing to be stronger. If I ever get round to writing another blog post, of course.

  62. 10th November 2011 / 1:39 pm

    See, I WAS going to write an offended reply (I have four children – should I sell one so that I don’t have to drive an MPV? I LOVE my MPV with it’s slidey doors and non-fightey individual chairs and oodles of hairy-elephant dog space). Though not as much as I love the husbands 4×4.
    But now I’ve spent all my time reading all the comments, and I have no time fo rthat.
    So I’ll just go quietly, leaving an offensive bad smell behind me.
    *parp*

  63. 10th November 2011 / 6:09 pm

    I don’t think I know the lemon mousse story. Can I have a quick recap with pictures or vivid descriptions of everything involved please?!

  64. 14th November 2011 / 6:22 pm

    Hi
    I think we should ALL speak our minds. Within your guidelines of course. I have seen a lot of unnecessary stuff that gets very personal.
    Debate is healthy and so is getting things off one’s chest.
    However, people do seem scared to put a stake in the ground.
    I learned this in a first-hand way when I wrote this post: http://newmumonline.blogspot.com/2011/07/scratch-that-itch.html
    I deliberated for ages before I wrote it, as I don’t write controversial posts on purpose to get high views or high comments – that’s an art I will leave to those of you who are good at it – I wrote it as it bothered me for days and days and I had to say what I thought, what I personally thought on behalf of ME, on MY blog. I wasn’t “taking sides” I was being true to myself and I felt passionate about it.
    What shocked me was that my regular readers did not comment and a couple admitted that they wouldn’t / couldn’t.
    There is a kind of blog hierarchy and it does create a certain silence or deference – I find it quite odd to be honest.
    Anyway I can’t find the words to say what I am trying to say so I will leave it at that.
    *bows out after too much waffle*
    *reverses sheepishly*
    xx

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