The Flea Files, Part III

I woke up this Mother’s Day without Flea – she was with her Dad this weekend.

Obviously, I spent my weekend shuffling miserably from room to room thinking of how my life is meaningless without my baby, and definitely NOT taking the opportunity for a quiet swim, followed by skipping dinner in favour of snacks  (mini thai fishcakes and chilli sauce, followed by a slab of brie on crackers), then a few hours playing Candy Crush on Facebook and lolling on the sofa watching Vampire Diaries, beer in hand.

Perish the thought.

To be honest, I never thought I’d be a Mum. For a long time I had no desire to be one, and then when I did get pregnant, it turned out that staying pregnant was going to be a challenge. There was the world’s worst-timed miscarriage (on my wedding day) followed by a second pregnancy where I started bleeding 2 days after I peed on the stick, and didn’t stop until I was almost 28 weeks pregnant.

So nobody was more surprised than me when a fully-grown, healthy baby Flea was born.

But – once I got over the shock – I loved it. And I still do.

I’m still not terribly keen on other people’s children (no offence, I’m sure they’re lovely) but Flea is such fun. I love watching her grow a little more independent and a little more confident every day.

Back when I first started this blog, I asked Flea to help me do a little interview that would tell our readers all they needed to know about us. And – on Mother’s Day – it seemed appropriate to repeat the activity, and see what’s changed since Flea was three – and what is still the same. Here’s the result:


The Flea Files

A portrait of me and Flea, by Flea:


Flea, aged 3
Flea, aged 3 


Q1: What are our names? 

Flea, 3: Aiden the Monster and Sally. (Flea insisted on being called Aiden for 9 months when she was three. That kid had commitment.)

Flea, 7: Flea, and Sally.


Q2: What are our ages? 

Flea, 3: We are 3 and 22 (Gosh, how I loved her then) 

Flea, 7: I am 7 and a half, and Mummy is 37


Q3: What do we want for our birthdays? 

Flea, 3: Mummy wants a new  new car because she was driving fast and broke our black car and now she doesn’t like the car we have because it is green. I want loads of things, but mostly I want a monkey that I saw on the floor yesterday. I think someone dropped it off a trampoline.

Flea, 7: I want some new games for my X-Box 360 Kinect like Kinect Rush. I have no idea what Mummy wants.


Q4: Who are our best friends: 

Flea, 3: Peter and Thomas. Peter helps me do things that are hard, and Thomas is kind. Sometimes at school I play with Joshua and Aidan and Max and Charlie, but now it is the holidays.

Flea, 7: My best friend is Zara, and Mummy’s best friend is me, basically.


Q5: What do we like to eat: 

Flea, 3: Biscuits. But we like every sort of thing to eat.

Flea, 7:  I like to eat macaroni cheese, because I love cheese and Mummy likes to eat toast. Mummy is a good cook, I think.


Q6: What don’t we like to eat? 

Flea, 3: tomatoes, salad, mushrooms. Mummy doesn’t like things that are disgusting like pretend cheese and pepperami.

Flea, 7: mashed potato or rice pudding. Rice pudding is evil. Mummy doesn’t like Cheese Strings, which is rather mysterious because they are awesome.


Q7: What’s our favourite game? 

Flea, 3: Pirates. One of you is a pirate and the other one is a tiger. The tiger has to say “RAAAH” and then he squishes the pirate. That’s how you play.

Flea, 7: I like playing in my play room with all my dressing up stuff, and that’s my favourite game. We like playing Frustration too because it is really hard.


Q8: What do we want to do as a job? 

Flea, 3: Mummy works on a computer, and I want to be a pirate, a knight or a burglar.

Flea, 7: Mummy writes a blog, and I need to think about it more, but I might like to be a vet because I like animals and I am very good with cats. Although I am even better with rabbits. Once I went to a friend’s house and she had a rabbit and it wouldn’t let go of me.


Q9: What’s our favourite toy? 

Flea, 3: Mummy likes her iPod but my favourite is my skeleton figures.

Flea, 7: All of my dressing up things. Today, I am playing at being a brave knight with a sword and shield, but sometimes I’m a pirate, or Harry Potter.


Q10: What makes us happy? 

Flea, 3: I make Mummy happy and she makes me happy.

Flea, 7: Everything makes me happy. For example, I like reading books if they’re really exciting, or if we play a game at bedtime, like the one where we draw letters and pictures on each other’s backs and have to guess them, or we have a tickle fight. I think I make Mummy happy. (she’s right) 


Q11: What makes us sad? 

Flea, 3: When someone is naughty and they break something. Or if a puppy ate our biscuit.

Flea, 7:  When we have to get up really early. I just say, “Can I wait ten more hours?” and Mummy says, “Shall we have a duvet day?


Q12: What makes us cross? 

Flea, 3: People who steal money from monkeys. (I have no idea)

Flea, 7: I get cross when I lose at hockey because I am very competitive. I don’t think Mummy ever gets cross, although she does get exasperated when she loses her keys in the morning.


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