There was a bit of a kerfuffle on Twitter the other night, when one blogger took umbrage to another blogger referring to her as a Mummy blogger.
I know. A kerfuffle on Twitter. Involving bloggers. Unprecedented.
One of the women involved was slighted at the very idea of being a Mummy blogger.
Another said, “Well, it’s okay, because I’m not a proper Mummy blogger.”
Lately, I seem to be reading a flood of Tweets, emails and blog posts about how some of us are PROPER Mummy bloggers. While the rest of us are, presumably, doing it all WRONG.
Perhaps this squirming under the label ‘Mummy blogger’ comes from the dubious social status that comes with being a ‘proper’ Mummy blogger – after all, being a Mummy isn’t considered a high-status role by many (stupid) people, and admitting you write a blog can be right up there will telling the world you play Dungeons and Dragons on a weekend, after your Mum has helped you update your online dating profile.
In some circles, Mummy blogging is talked about with open derision. And there seem to be so many rules. What’s fun about that?
Here’s the thing, though – I love being a Mummy blogger. I’ve no issue with telling people I write a Mummy blog. I’m proud of this imperfect, slightly weird record of our lives.
For me, Mummy bloggers are women who write about their lives as mothers, and people in the world. Sometimes, we write about things that happen inside our families, but we’re just as likely to write about the things we see, people we meet, and places we go.
A Mummy blog, then, can be anything you want it to be. A Mummy blog can be a journal, a platform to campaign or educate, an emotional outlet, a creative exercise or professional springboard. It can be a way to generate extra funds or bring some new products and experiences into the family. It can be any combination of those things on any different day.
And it can – clutch your chest, ladies – be written by a man. Who will probably get to call themselves a ‘Dad who blogs’ as though that’s somehow more serious and worthy than what we frivolous mothers get up to online.
Many parent bloggers work with brands. That doesn’t make them a sell-out. Most bloggers write their posts with care, and put their names to everything they write. That’s a lot more honest and transparent than a great deal of media in 2011, frankly. Providing everyone’s operating within the law, I see no reason for anyone to judge any blogger for whatever arrangement they might come to with a business.
I read hundreds of parent blogs every month as publisher of the Tots100. And what those blogs have in common is that they’re providing a platform for women’s voices to be heard. And in a time when women are still battling for equality in so many parts of life, I can’t help but feel a little thrill of triumph every time I think about how women are using social media to make themselves heard.
So, yeah. I’m a Mummy Blogger. As for being proper, well, it’s a bit late to start now, isn’t it?
What do you think – is there a definition of ‘proper’ Mummy blogging, or do you take a more relaxed view?
I think a lot of mummy bloggers are branching out into general blogging, and want to leave the “mummy” roots behind, hence comments like “I’m a mum who blogs but not a mummy blogger”.
Perhaps there are communities out there that want to regiment the definition of mummy blogger so that people feel they’re not included if a certain number of tick boxes aren’t filled?
Either way, I have entirely the wrong genitalia to be a mummy blogger, so you can count me out 🙂
PS the line spacing on whatever theme you’ve got on typepad sucks.
Typepad doesn’t do themes. It’s all my own work. I’m so pleased you like it 😉
But my view is why is there perceived to be a difference between the two – as women who says what is and isn’t Mummy blogging? I find it very weird.
Thanks, this explains what I have been noticing (but failed to understand).
I recently started reading some parent blogs (yes, I will be a dad in the next few months) so to help me track things, I created a basic “Mummy blogger Twitter list”.
And when bloggers notice they are added, reactions have ranged from “Great, thanks for adding me” to “Take me off: I am not a ‘real’ mummy blogger”… even though their blogs cover exactly the same topics!
I think Alex may be partly right (I think your line spacing is fine).
Leaving the mummy blogger behind is, I think, a fairly natural progression. If you’ve read mummy blogs for a while you’re bound to be recognising the cyclical nature of them. There’s only so many years you can read (and write) about breastfeeding, real nappies, BLW, SAHM/WAHM, starting school, going up to a new year…… healthy lunchboxes, my kid’s reading before your kid…. the cognitive leap from Duplo to Lego and the perennial nugget that is the moral panic surrounding exactly when you let them go to the park on their own.
Kids grow up, move on – so do their Mums.
I am not a fan on of the “mummyblogger” tag, and don’t see myself as a one. Mainly because I don’t like the mummification of women – my pet hate is mumpreneur. Why are men entrepreneurs but a woman is a mumpreneur because she happens to have done what gazillions of other women have done: give birth.
I want to be seen as a woman, a human being, a writer, a blogger. Not reduced to a set of ovaries and a womb. I find the term can be used in a patronising way – not that it always is but it can be.
Fathers who blog seem to be “Dads Who Blog” rather than Daddybloggers, which always strikes me as a bit unfair. We get the fluffy mummy title, they get the iusepowertoolsandamarealmanwhohappenstoblog tough title.
I do blog about my children and my life as a mother, so I suppose you could call me a mummyblogger.
Would I be offended? Absolutely not, as some of my favourite bloggers are mummybloggers. There are so many incredibly talented writers who at present are writing about their lives as mothers. It will be interesting to see how they develop their blogs as their children get older and their lives change.
I agree with you, women having a voice is a wonderful thing.
I see my blog as a personal journal not limited to my status as a mother (or indeed housewife). Becoming a mother is, simply put, my greatest achievement and remains the most worthwhile thing that I do. I don’t class my blog as a mummy blog mainly because I don’t class myself as being only a mother; it is many things as I am many things. Besides, my children don’t call me mummy and I’m darned if anyone else will. I am Kat and I have a blog.
Round of applause! Yes I agree completely. Oh, and your line spacing is just gorgeous 🙂
I think I would be more mortified at the idea of having a public Twitter ‘kerfuffle’ with someone than I would be about having someone incorrectly (in my eyes) identify the tone and purpose of my blog.
I just don’t get hung up on labels personally. I write a blog, I am a mummy, I am not fussed to be called a “mummy blogger” or a “mum who blogs” or a “blogger” or whatever. I only started my blog when I became a mum, so it has been the journey into motherhood that sparked my desire to write a blog and I’m loving every minute of both being a mum and being a blogger. I’m happy to just be involved and besides, I have too much other stuff to think about than what I want to be called! Good post.
I couldn’t give two hoots to be honest.
I blog about my family, I’m a Mum.. so I guess Mummy Blogger fits. I’m also a freelance writer, there is another label, oh and a wife… there is another. They are just words, they don’t sum up who I am or all that I do.
I’ve come round to thinking that it’s more important what I think of me, and that readers enjoy my content than whether I’m a “Mummy Blogger” or not. I’ve been called worse that Mummy Blogger, that’s for sure! MB is another term that can be used by people in a negative way, which is a shame, but if someone is that way out – it doesn’t matter if you are a Mummy Blogger or not.
That said, if someone called me a MumsyWriter I might slap them, hard!
Oh and being a “proper” Mummy Blogger….I won’t start on that one. Each to their own!
To other blogging communities that is the perception, rightly or wrongly doesn’t really matter in the long run.
I feel a meta analysis coming on……..
Now I’m totally confused. I waited 20 years after some of my friends became parents to become a mummy myself. In my home ‘mummy’ is the most beautiful sound I can imagine (even at 3am). And yet there is a dismissive air about those who are defined as mummies – wrong though that is. I have no solution. As for your line-spacing – well that’s an impportant subject that should really be addressed as a topic in it’s own right.
Yes, there’s certainly an aversion in some circles to being called a ‘mummy blogger’. For what it’s worth I think it’s because there’s an assumption of what a Mummy blog is, what it writes about, and how those sorts of bloggers behave – based, probably, on a few high-profile blogs that fit a stereotype, ignoring vast swathes of women and men who also blog about their families, but in a different (improper) way.
Mumpreneur is just offensive. Reductive, patronising, sexist – and offensive.
But I’m good with Mummy blogger. I’m writing about my family, and I’m a mother. I like that.
But what’s interesting about that is the assumption that Mummy = just relating to kids.
My view is that I’m a mother and that means I’m interested in pretty much the whole world. So yes, I’m a Mummy blogger and that means I can write about photography, cooking, design, politics – from my standpoint as a mother.
PS – I don’t write about most of those things because I’m a bit rubbish, it must be said.
Thanks. I like you. You’re welcome to come back, any time.
I just like using the word kerfuffle at any given opportunity 😉
Exactly! I really agree – I don’t fuss about labels, I’m not insulted by them – because I don’t think there’s a PROPER Mummy blog – if it’s what I do, it’s what I do. Why worry?
Amen, sister.
But I think what’s interesting here is the belief (or misconception in my view) that Mummy bloggers are about Duplo and dummies and such things. I’ve never written about those things. It’s not of interest to me. Does that make me less of a Mummy, less of a blogger? Of course not. I’m a Mum, I’m interested in lots of things – can’t we get away from the idea of Mums only being interested in their kids and the domestic realm?
I shall make a note to conduct market research on line spacing at the first available opportunity…
I think you’re right, being offended by being called a mummy blogger is actually pretty sexist, as if being a mummy blogger isn’t a worthwhile endeavour. Having said that, I think there is a difference between bloggers who happen to be mums, and bloggers who specifically choose to blog about being mums.
It honestly (perhaps stupidly) never crossed my mind that Dooce might be seen as a mommy blogger, for example. To me, she was a woman who blogged about her experience of mental illness, her house, her friends, and her family. Likewise Finslippy. So when they became part of Momversation, I was surprised, like, “OH! They’re *mommy bloggers*.” But Finslippy especially writes about all kinds of stuff. Even The Bloggess has been called a mommy blogger. I’m not sure how you’d categorise her, but that doesn’t quite ring true.
I think for a lot of blogs, it’s more of a marketing term that draws in advertisers and sponsors and other opportunities. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But I’ve started to think maybe readers aren’t looking for mummy or daddy bloggers specifically — just good writers we can relate to, who entertain us.
Crikey, am I the only one who thinks that people are taking this too seriously?! Who cares if you are called a ‘Mummy Blogger’ or a ‘Mum Who Blogs’ or any other arrangement of essentially the same words? I am a Working Mum. A mum who works. Fathers who work are not called Working Dads but I’m not going to get my knickers in a twist about it. There are far too many serious issues to worry about so to quote Michael Winner, ‘calm down dear’!
Looks fine to me. (?!)
I was with you right up until you quoted Michael Winner…
(‘Calm down dear’ aimed at those who are getting sniffy about being called a Mummy Blogger, not aimed at you Sally!!) x
Not sure what I am any more! I started off as not being a Mum at all when I was first at Myspace, then I had Mini and documented my pregnancy.
D’you think a few people don’t want to be associated with the tag for exactly the reason of all the unnecessary drama that goes with it? We all (and yep, including myself here) do the tag a disservice by kind of going a bit mental at one another from time to time (glad I missed this latest spat), usually about something not worth bothering about at all. Perhaps the more “serious” (if that’s the right term) writers want to distance themselves from that?
I’m a Mum/rant/opinion blogger. Lol
You have written about playmobil though 🙂 (But how could anyone not write about them? lol )
Hmmm….
I’m a mum who blogs and who has for a long time. I perceive ‘mummy blogging’ as being something a little different to that – possibly. Apparently some people INVENTED it, which came as a surprise to quite a number of us who had been blogging and mumming for quite a while by then.
There are versions of it, I think. People who blog with the intent to make it a business – and perhaps I think of those people (some of them) as being closer in spirit to this idea of an ‘invented’ mummy blogging. I think it is more brand blogging; an income stream with a family threaded around it. It’s an intentional writing medium (nothing wrong with that) which might stop if the brands stop working with bloggers (which they might).
Then there are voices – I’m quite specific about who I think of as those people. Lots of them get masses of opportunities to do brand things, charity things etc because of reach and writing skill but essentially the blog stands alone and is a bloody good read, which is why people read it. Not because it is a mum, or a dad – just a person.
And then there are people like me. I blogged for a very long time for nothing, I’m not quite a voice though because I’m not setting out with my main focus to be about writing and I’m not quite good enough either. I’m liking dipping my toe in the waters that ‘mummy blogging’ is swimming in, but I’d keep blogging even if no one offered me anything ever.
What IS silly – and I’m mildly staggered by how much of it has gone on which I’ve clearly been oblivious to – is all the divisions and arguments and meanness and goodness knows what else. It seems like there is plenty of opportunity for all sorts of people and all types of blogs. It”s not school, after all 🙂
I don’t mind what people call me as long as it’s not something nasty. I’m a mummy blogger, yes I’m a mum who blogs surely if you blog about your family and being a mummy in more than half your posts your a mummy blogger. Yes I have writing, poetry and book reviews on my blog but does that make me not a mummy blogger, no I just blog what I like and about me. I am a mum and that is my main role, so it’s my main role on my blog to. Yes I have other roles and they fit in too. What’s the big deal anyway.x
Bravo! You just helped me figure out why I’m doing what I’m doing with my own blog – I had days where it got a bit fuzzy. More great posts like this please – you’re an inspiration.
Yes. Well said.
“Most bloggers write their posts with care, and put their names to everything they write. That’s a lot more honest and transparent than a great deal of media in 2011, frankly.” I hadn’t ever thought of it that way, but yes, you’re right.
Interesting, though, that we have ‘mummy bloggers’ and ‘dads who blog’. Why not ‘mums who blog’? But personally I’m not bothered about the label.
Very interesting point of view. I had to copy the text into notepad before reading it though as I find the line spacing a little bit hard to read. It feels like you’re starting out a new paragraph every new line. As for the topic of ‘mummy bloggers’, people should be able to call themselves whatever they want, without getting blamed for it x
I love this post and I feel like I’m in a therapy group, my name is Lena and I’m a mummy blogger. There see I said it out loud. I love blogging about my family life and how they grow and all the problems we encounter along the way.
I think by doing this gives me an opportunity to do what I love and that’s writing and as the children grow so will the blog and one thing is for certain I will always be a mum, I’m very proud to be a mummy blogger too.
Xxx
I hate being called a Mummy, full stop. Can just about tolerate it from my children (through gritted teeth), but that’s as far as it goes. So I show no preferential treatment for my loathing of the phrase ‘Mummy blogger’ … it’s Mummy anything!. Blaaaagh. Horrible word. Along with ‘moist’ …
don’t give two hoots what you choose to label or not label a blog, or yourself – if you write well and it’s interesting people will read it. Just seems slightly snobby to get hung up on oh you’re more important with this label, or oh it’s not serious because you talk about your kids. Blogging is your personal choice of title and content so take that choice and enjoy it! Personally like reading lots of different blogs as gives a lovely range of perspectives on life.
Call me what you want, I care not!
Mummy blogger and proud. Mich x
The sole thing I dislike about the term Mummy Blogger is the word Mummy. That’s what my children call me, it’s not a noun I expect anyone else to use for me. Other people – adults – might refer to me as a mother or as a parent, but the word mummy makes me feel slightly queasy unless it’s coming from my own offspring.
Super post Sally. To be honest I really couldn’t care what I’m called. I don’t find the term ‘mummy blogger’ offensive at all. I’m a mummy and I blog. I don’t introduce myself to people as ‘mummy blogger’ – I’m Heather. The fact that I am a mummy who also blogs is just a side.
I’m not really making much sense to be honest, it’s late and I’m hormonal so I’ll toddle back off to my hole.
I am not bothered in the slightest about being called a mummy blogger, I am a mum and I blog. What I love is the fact that I can get away with writing about pretty much anything I like without it being out of place. There are worse titles to have in life!
Well I am a mummy and I am a blogger so am happy to be called a Mummy Blogger, indeed I rather like the term.
I HATE the term “mummy blogger” so twee, so pigeon holed and so patronising. If I didn’t have kids, what would I be…the wife blogger?! NO WRONG WRONG WRONG.
Seems I am in the minority, I never did conform 😉
PS Before anyone says that I have “mum” in the title of my blog, I have to explain, I started my blog on the back of a national competition and my son gave me that name. Never in a million gazillion years did I think I would still be blogging and now it’s too late to change it!!
Peace out….
I say embrace it! I am a blogger and don’t have an answer when people say ‘what kind of blogger are you?’. There’s no circle or label – I’m not a mummy, I don’t write about beauty or fashion, just stuff. Stuff Blogger doesn’t quite have the same ring to it!
My blog description actually makes mention of this in that I am by nature a ‘mummy blogger’ as I am a mum who blogs but I don’t always think of myself as a ‘mummy blogger’ as I have lots of interests and am currently branching out into beauty. I refuse to have the word ‘mum’ or ‘mummy’ in the name of my blog as that is too stereotyping for me.
I think that when you have children you feel like you lose your identity as it is and become just a mummy so I can understand why some ppl take umbrage at losing their identity even more by being classed as a mummy blogger instead of whatever their niche is. However it is a handy broad label. I personally wouldn’t take offence if someone called me a mummy blogger. in the blogging and twitter community there is too much taking offence far too easily.
cool it kids.
As a complete newbie to the wonderful World of Mummy-blogging, it seems to be that it varies hugely from person to person- some people may claim that it is only ‘proper’ if you’re writing about parenting issues all the time, but I think most parents would agree that parenting is what happens when you’re busy doing something else (shopping, working, days out…). So I’m not sure there is a definition! Either way, it’s a wonderful new sphere I’ve stumbled upon and it seems a great way to meet like-minded people, share the ups and downs of parenthood, and hopefully make someone smile!
Just to say this blog is fantastic, your writing style is very pleasant to read and makes me laugh every few lines. I will certainly be following!
x Hannah aka NonChavYoungMum x
Interesting comment – I agree, I think – many ‘Mummy bloggers’ blog about things other than parenting. I tend to think of ‘Mummy blogger’ as an external label someone else might put on my blog, but I certainly don’t feel it’s a name I’m constrained by, or that it’s something I have to live up to. And that’s the beauty of blogging, right? Doing what you like, in your space?
Oh, sure, in some circles ‘Mummy blogging’ is synonymous with back-biting, competitiveness, bitchiness and all those other things, but from what I can observe, many blogging niches and communities are exactly the same. Women are (in my experience) just better at maintaining a veneer of niceness!
Hi Merry
See – this is interesting – you don’t consider yourself a ‘proper’ Mummy blogger despite having written about your family and your life for donkeys’ years. I can see why the term ‘Mummy blogger’ might become synonymous with a very specific sort of blog, and yes, those blogs are often very commercially-oriented, but I reject anyone who tells me that’s the RIGHT sort of blog, or the PROPER way to be a Mummy blogger.
I guess I’m sort of reclaiming the term if anything – why can’t a Mummy blogger be someone who does what you do, or what I do, or what any of the people in these comments do? Who says it has to be a certain thing?
Ha! I get called nasty things all the time. It’s just a sign you’re being interesting.
Ooh, crikey, I feel a bit under pressure now…
(thanks, though)
Because Mummy blogger is often used in a demeaning way, and there’s always a tendency in some circles to think men doing something is important and serious, while women are just filling their empty lives with something to keep them entertained.
Thanks for the comment. I’m hard to read but worth it, I think you’ll find 😉
Good for you, missus.
But why hate being called Mummy? It’s interesting because I think, on some level, it’s a sexism thing. Do you think an affection name for being a mother limits you, defines you, demeans you? I don’t. I think mothers, mums, mummies, whatever you call them are just women with children – and we rock, no matter what label you choose to use.
I agree – I think Mummy blogs as a group present some amazing writing, viewpoints and diversity – and most especially if you ignore ideas of what’s proper and who’s doing things right or wrong.
Hurrah! Good for you.
But I find it very interesting that women are offended by the use of a term that, really, is just a descriptor. In saying I think you’re a Mummy blogger, I don’t think you’re my Mummy (you’re not, are you? I mean, I’m adopted so it’s technically a possibility).
As Diane says, isn’t there a question to be asked about whether we’re being sexist in thinking of Mummy as being automatically limiting, or demeaning?
You’re making perfect sense, and yes, I agree – I’m a Mum, I blog, and if you want to put a label on it, that’s your business, but I’m just going to write what I write.
Hi CJ
Interestingly, the tots100 slightly prompted this post – every month I get emails from people complaining that this blog or that blog shouldn’t be included because it’s not a ‘real’ Mummy or Daddy blog. And I take a more relaxed view of these things – if you are a parent, and you’re blogging about your life and including your family, and you WANT to be in the Tots100, I’m good with that. And that diversity makes the Tots100 a bit special, I think.
Good for you!
We like non-conformity round these parts but I’d refer again to what Diane said – is it sexist to see the term Mummy as limiting, or demeaning, or patronising. Because I see so many mummy blogs giving women a voice, a platform and a power they’ve never had before, I’m more inclined to see mummy blogging as a very empowering, positive thing for women.
Ha!
Peace out, indeed.
I dunno, I quite like stuff blogger.
Exactly! I love that I can blog anything without being out of place – perfect!
I guess you’re right – maybe it’s tied up with women feeling that becoming a mother means a loss of identity. Interesting comment, thanks.
I’m a sucker for a good compliment. You can come back anytime.
Hear hear! I get quite annoyed with people having a high and mighty opinion about what people should write or not write about, or if they do reviews or not, or if they join linkys or not. A blog is personal space on the web and we should all do with it what we want. Again I may get overly annoyed due to hormones 😉 Off I toddle again…
Who cares – Mummy Blogger is better than Mad Rambling Red head blogger
I mean its a label and we shouldn’t be labelled and put into boxes but I just don’t care! Whatever – I’m a mum, I write about my kids, the things they/we do and then other random stuff so yes, I’m a Mummy Blogger and I dont’ care
BNM
hmmm good way to put it. I like it 🙂
I think your line spacing looks absolutely fine. And I wish my daughter still called me mummy. *goes slightly off topic*
I am a mummy blogger!
there, said it!
I cant add anymore really, everyone else commented before me!
I love being a mummy blogger! I am a mummy who blogs – how else can I be described so succinctly?! Becoming a mummy has brought all sorts of new experiences my way and i like to rant, rave and laugh about them in my blog. I also like to find other mummy bloggers who do the same – it’s a fun group to be part of.
However, I can understand that some bloggers, who happen to be mums, but don’t always write about topics connected to their kids, would rather be known as just bloggers. Perhaps it’s a bit like the title ‘chic lit’, which encompasses great reading like ‘Bridget Jones Diary’ (I love it, ok?!) and some truly awful rubbish. Maybe it’s a snobby thing, that bloggers who tackle what they consider important issues, don’t want to be associate with the likes of us who would happily write a post on their gratitude to Captain Birdseye! Just a thought xx
I think for me the term ‘mummyblogger’ grates because it’s an attempt to sum up a huge variety of different blogs with one handy term.
I started blogging in 2007, and read blogs quite a lot of blogs by women who happened to be mothers, all blogging in very different ways, but not ‘categorised’ in any way. It was about two years after that that I came across the whole ‘mummyblogging’ community. It had never occurred to me before to label blogs in that way. I think it’s a little sad that such variety is being packed down into a word which doesn’t come anywhere near describing what’s going on.
And it is sexist. I’m sorry, but it is. MmeLindor’s post is spot on.
And besides, I don’t call myself ‘mummy’. I’d describe myself as a ‘mother’, maybe, but never a ‘mummy’. Calling myself ‘mummy’ would make me feel like one of those women who buy a Winnie the Pooh changing bag when their children are born. You’re in your 30s, love. Your bag has Winnie the Pooh on it. The kid doesn’t even know who that is.
For me, it’s because I don’t want to be defined by my children. I want to be defined by me, and all the interesting parts of me too, not the nappy changing parts 😉 I think I also fear it makes me sound old (must…grab…onto…youth), and I fear said children stealing my limelight. Other than that, it’s dandy 😉
Or life and motherhood from my point of view as Kat…
Wow, after reading all this you certainly have got people talking! As for me, a newbie still searching for my blogging voice I think labels come and go. I hated the mumpreneur label – this word never seemed to give women enough credit for having a creative idea and setting up their own business whilst at the same time raising a young family. It almost sounded a bit demeaning. However, this label seemed to run it’s course and I’ve no doubt the mummy blogger label will do to. Just give it time and eventually I’m sure the ‘mummy’ will be dropped (not literally!)
So, I’m very late in commenting on this article as just discovered it this morning when I googled searched for ‘Mummy Blogger’ but guess it’s never too late to make a contribution to what has indeed been a lively discussion. I term myself a Mummy Blogger, and proudly tell people this to be the case. I do however wait to see their reaction before quickly following that up with ‘I know, I know, it’s geeky.’ But actually, the reaction from others (and frankly, who cares what they think anyway) is one of interest. They want to know more, why did I start blogging, what drives me, what do I get out of it and so on.
It’s not a hard one to deal with. I’m a Mum. I blog. Cripes, I even use the term Mummy in my blog name, and with my tongue firmly in cheek I ham it up even further by being ‘Super’.
A Mummy blogger by any other name would be just as sweet….
It’s all storm in a mummy bloggy tea cup;)