This week our home has become the House of Lurgy.
I’ve been felled by a nasty throat infection that has meant, for large portions of the last 10 days, I haven’t been able to speak.
This has been quite a blow for me, as people who know me well will understand. We’re a fairly chatty family…
On Tuesday morning, I woke up completely unable to speak. So after shaking my daughter awake, Â in a loving way, I went downstairs and left her to get herself dressed.
When she eventually arrived in the dining room we were running late and Flea appeared to be unable to understand my (frankly) awe-inspiring sign language, supplemented by lots of MMmmm-MMM-hmmm noises.
So I resorted to typing what I wanted to say on the Windows Surface tablet.
Tonight I was looking for an email when I found the list of things I “said” to my beloved child between 8.25am and 8.40am on Tuesday morning.
It’s actually a little bit shocking to see the things I say to Flea in black and white. Turns out I’m a teeny, tiny bit grouchy in the mornings, especially when I’m less than fighting fit. Still, I’m sure this sort of parenting is building Flea’s character by the bucketload, right? Does everyone’s morning sound a bit like this? Please tell me it does…
Cereal or toast?
Try on the doorstep.
Pancakes take too long.
Why did it take you so long to get dressed?
40 minutes!!!
Should there be a button on that?
There’s another in the tumble drier.
You can do that in the car.
You can do that in the car.
You can do it in the car.
I’m not well enough and I don’t have time to explain.
Because it took you 40 minutes to get dressed!!
Not cross, just exasperated.
I love you too.
Is that last night’s dinner on your face?
SERIOUSLY??? Go and wash.
What form?
I haven’t seen it.
Can we stay home? I am too sick to drive.
Please????
OK then.
Can you at least clean that milk off the table before it stains?
Ready?
Where are your bloody shoes????
I give up.
No. We definitely have to go to school.
I love you too. Let’s go 🙂
Did you notice where I put my keys last night?
Gosh – never write anything down Sally – it’s a hard trail of evidence 🙂
Hope you feel better sharpish x
I have learned my lesson.
What form? I gave it to you! I’ve never seen a form! You paid for it last week! Where’s the slip? It’s tomorrow??
Daily conversation in our house 🙂
I hate slips and forms. Why is this stuff not on my email already? That’s what I want to know.
Only swear word before school? You did great, be proud.
*proud face*
I am sure if I wrote down everything I say to the kids in the morning it would be much like that. I don’t even want to think about it…
Hope you’re feeling better now.
Excellent. My shame loves company.
Sounds exactly like a transcript of what I say to Noo every day. You are not alone! 😉
Ha! good to have company 🙂
This sounds like my morning… You are definitely not alone! Hope you get better soon, I am in bed with high temperatute and nasty cough ;(
Oh, thanks, I just feel like this winter has been one infection after another, and each one seems a little worse than the last! Get well soon, lovely x
That’s much more polite than my version of getting three kids out of the house and on the school run!
I am unfailingly polite in my inadequate parenting 🙂
Ha! This sounds quite polite to me, and one good thing about writing it down means the neighbours can’t hear you yelling (oops am I revealing too much about my ‘parenting’)…
I hope I never have to do this exercise. Mine would be appalling, I’m sure!!!
At least you had 2 I love yous in there, so it can’t be that bad! 🙂
This brought a lump to my throat because I can hear myself saying some of those phrases and I hate thinking that they have gone to school with that ringing in their ears. I’m sure the I love you’s count for more than the rest though… H x