Meeting People: why is it so hard?

So here’s the thing.

Deep breath. 

I’ve met someone.

It happened a few months back – I was at a meeting, they were at the meeting, our eyes met. We laughed at each other’s jokes. I didn’t really think any more of it.

Fast forward to the New Year and I was at an event where I didn’t know anyone. Except suddenly I looked up and – aha! – the day got significantly more interesting, especially when I overheard them telling someone how funny they thought I was (Although with hindsight, I hope it was meant in a good way, rather than, “God, she’s REALLY weird, isn’t she?”).

Through a bit of stalking that day and the following days I worked out the following:

  • We have several mutual friends, including members of my family
  • We both approve of DMs and Converse boots
  • We’re almost the same age – I’m a year older, depressingly, but we know the same bands and stuff. Which TOTALLY matters, right?
  • And… I’ve completely forgotten how to make new friends

It’s harder than actual dating, I think, which at least affords you the opportunity to get slightly drunk and launch yourself at a chap.

But put me in a situation where I meet a really funny, smart woman who I think would be a GREAT person to be friends with… and I’m clueless. What’s the etiquette here?

I do know her email address – but is emailing someone to invite them for coffee too impersonal? Should I get her phone number – or is that too stalker-y?

What if she thinks I’m making a pass at her? (I’m not, for the record) Or what if she turns me down?

Oh, God, the whole situation is just fraught with the potential for embarrassment.

The thing about making friends is you do it almost without knowing when you’re younger. Then there are NCT friends, who you’re forced to get to know because, honestly, nobody else is that interested in talking about your baby, and walking round the local park for four hours at a time with a cranky newborn. Most of my friends, I’ve known for years. A few friends I’ve made more recently through blogging which I’ve realised is a complete cheat’s way to make new friends because Tweeting your way to being friends is way easier than talking to an actual real-life stranger.

This stuff is so much easier for Flea who has recently announced that she has formed a “Best Friends’ Club” at school with three other girls she really likes. Apparently if you’re eight and want new friends, you just go to street dance together then buy them some Minnie Mouse “Best Friend” bath bubbles for Christmas.

I wish I was eight.

So – first of all, I’m in desperate need of assurances that I am not the only socially awkward adult woman who has entirely forgotten the process of how to make new friends. And second of all – advice! What would you do, if you were me?


Pic: Shutterstock 

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