As a grown-up responsible woman of 35 I certainly don’t buy into childish notions like a “Freebie 5”.

A “Freebie 5”, for those of who are just as sensible, responsible and mature as I am, is a list of five unattainable individuals you have permission to tap*, should the opportunity arise. (* I believe this is what the kids are calling it, these days)

The Freebie 5 is that it’s not about potential boyfriends. The people on a Freebie 5 are people you’d spend one night with. Two, tops. Conversation is optional, but not required.

You know just from reading this blog, I’m sure, that I am not the sort of person to have a Freebie 5. Laminated. On the fridge door. Nosiree.

So, when Pippa from A Mother’s Ramblings tagged with a meme to identify five fictional characters I would like to, erm, get to know – well, I didn’t know where to start. After many weeks of thinking about this completely brand new subject for the first time in my entire life, I eventually came up with this list:

Pacey
Pacey Witter, Dawson’s Creek – crucially, only in Season 4 onwards. Prior to that, he had really, really bad hair, and a spectacularly bad fringe. Why Pacey? Because he was the bad boy who turned out to be Joey’s knight in shining armour before she got kidnapped by the Scientologists and turned into a robot. He says things like, “I’m going to kiss you now, Jo. I’m going to count to 10 and then I’m going to kiss you.” Sigh. And let’s face it, he grew up good.

Robert
Edward Cullen, Twilight: Yes, I know it’s a shame-f*ck. I’m a cliché. It’s wrong. I know that the dialogue in that movie is even worse than the make-up. I know he wore tinted lip-gloss, for God’s sake. I know he’s either 17 or 109, depending on how you look at it, and it’s creepy as all heck either way, but I don’t care. Frankly, I still would.

Mr Schue
Mr Shue, Glee: Yes, he’s got stupid hair but you’ve got to love a man who can sing, dance and play guitar.

Chris
Christopher, Gilmore Girls: Just about my favourite TV show of all time. It’s smart and well-written and funny. Also, it’s got cute guys in. Gilmore Girls fans are divided between whether Lorelei should have ended up with childhood sweetheart Christopher, Rory’s schoolteacher Max, or the good-hearted, gruff diner owner, Luke. My vote goes to Christopher because he rides a motorcycle and proposed in Paris. Yes, I’m THAT shallow.

Jordan
Jordan Catalano, My So Called Life. Because he’s everything that any self-respecting 15-year-old girl dreams of. He plays guitar. He parties. And, as Angela – the lead character in the show says – “I just like how he's always leaning. Against stuff. He leans great.” Jordan has some great dialogue, too. My favourite is when he’s completely stoned at the party where Angela thinks they might finally hook up, and he leans towards her, intently, gazes into her eyes, and says, “Hey, isn’t tonight, like, New Year’s Eve, or something?” Classic.

So, I’m passing on this meme to five bloggers who I’m sure will have just as much trouble with me in objectifying people of the opposite sex and embarking on inappropriate sexual speculation:

  1. Josie at Sleep is for the Weak
  2. Ellie at Insomniac Mummy
  3. Nat at Suburban Mummy UK
  4. Dan at All That Comes With It (who is almost certainly far more mature than me and refuse to do this, but I want to find out more about his movie favourites) 
  5. Carol at New Mummy