The one where I feel sorry for myself

For the most part, single parenting is okay with me. I’m not one of those advocates who thinks it better than the alternative, but I don’t think it’s any worse, either.

But today…ugh.

I woke up this morning feeling a bit ropy. Nothing major, but not tip top. The chap was leaving to go off to work for the week, and I told him not to worry, we’d be fine. Then I stepped into the kitchen.

The smell of last night’s dinner brought me out in a cold sweat, my legs went wobbly, my stomach turned. I tried to take Flea to the local park for the morning, but we had to turn around and come home before we got there, I felt so wretched.

I spent the rest of the day crashed on the sofa while Flea played quietly, periodically stopping to stroke my arms, or face, or tummy. “Does this feel better Mummy? Do you like it when I do that?”

I couldn’t bring myself to make her any food until gone 7pm, and then I managed to fall asleep while it was cooking, leading my daughter to say, “Mummy, sometimes pasta and pesto has crunchy bits in it, and Zara says that means it’s burnt. Do I have to eat that bit?”

Fortunately, I’m rarely ill, but on days that this, single parenting really sucks. I can’t tell you what I’d give right now to be able to hand someone over to Flea for the day, or just to play with her for a few hours, while I have a long shower and collapse into bed. Oh, for someone to bring me glasses of Lucozade and glossy magazines. Except it's the weekend, when married people are off doing married things. And except I'm self-employed so I'm not even in bed, I'm on the sofa, sending out invoices and trying to answer emails. 

Fellow single parents – any top tips for getting through illnesses?

[nb, the Tots100 might not be up for a couple more days]

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