Fortunately, Flea attended the pre-school already, so she can re-use some kit from last year, but she needed some new kit, namely:
- One blazer
- Two pinafores (she has two but I need five since I can't deal with the pressure of mid-week laundry)
- Five jumpers (see above)
- Two ties (how dirty does a tie get? Actually, don't answer that)
- One PE shirt
- One pair of school shoes
- One pair of white pumps
- One book bag
I cannot believe how much these items cost. How have I been wasting my life scratching a living in journalism when the real lucre is to be made in manufacturing small items of clothing with fancy badges stitched on?
Because I like to torture myself, here are five things I could have bought with the cash I just handed over in the school uniform shop:
- A full luxury day at The Sanctuary in London, complete with lunch, champagne and two beauty treatments.
- A return flight to Boston, complete with a lobster dinner at Legal Seafood.
- A Fortnum & Mason hamper, complete with foie gras and champagne. (I covet the baskets more than the food, to be truthful)
- A Paloma Picasso bracelet from Tiffany & Co to replace the one I lost during an ill-advised gardening venture.
- Everything on page 4-5 of the current Christmas ideas catalogue from Lakeland Limited. It's a true fact that the only thing in life better than a Lakeland Limited catalogue is a Lakeland Limited Christmas Ideas catalogue.
Oh, and I've told Flea that every time she gets a stain on her school uniform a fairy dies. That's not bad parenting, right?