Next time you think you’re a bad mother, I invite you to come back to read this post. No, really. Because I think I can guarantee you’ve never had THIS conversation in the car after collecting your precious, beloved offspring from school.
Me: Hey, Flea, you didn’t tell me there was a class photo in your bag. When was this taken?
Flea: I don’t remember.
Me: Oh you’re not in it. That’s a shame. Were we on holiday?
Flea: Don’t know. Please may I have sandwiches for dinner?
Me: Maybe. Oh, I think we were in London. There’s Charlie. And George. And who’s this, next to them?
Flea: That’s Samuel. I think I’ve got raisins in my snack box.
Me: Oh yes, I know Samuel. And look there’s Natasha and Zara. Is that Darcy?
Flea: Yes. [Flea starts rummaging in the glove box]
Me: Hmm. Who’s this girl here? Is she new?
Flea: Can I have this biscuit?
Me: Sure. Hmm. She’s got a yellow badge, she must be in your house. Who is she? Have a look. What’s that little girl’s name?
Flea: Flea
Me: Huh?
Flea: It’s me, Mummy.
Me: It doesn’t look like you. Are you sure?
Flea: [looks at me like I’m a moron] Yes.
Me: What happened to your hair?
Flea: My teacher brushed it.
That’ll be another sterling parenting moment, then.
In my defence it was a preview photo, so it was rather small. Also, who puts someone’s child’s hair in a completely different style for a class photo?
I’m running out of excuses now. It was quite dark in the car. Clearly I need glasses?
Please make me feel just a bit better. Has something like this ever happened to you?
Sorry, can’t comment. Laughing too hard to type…
are you sure you picked up the right kid? 😉
holy crap that is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time! Start saving how for therapy!
Absolutely adorable picture. I have all No 1 Sons school pictures in a drawer and I take them out from time to time to remind me how angelic he used to be, and how shiny his hair was when I was the one in charge of washing it.
haha flipping hilarious Sally…pure class 🙂 xxx
My life is inherently ridiculous, it’s true.
Ha ha! In my defence it was one of those TEENY photos that schools send out as proofs, and the teacher had combed Flea’s hair right back so she didn’t have a fringe, making her look very different.
I know ultimately these are pitiful excuses, but they’re all I have…
I know, I’m giving her so much material to work with in later years, aren’t I?
This is why I love you Sally. You are the best, even when you don’t know it.
Ha ha! That’s so cute.
Oh that is great. absolutely brilliant. do you get any points for recognising all her friends??
I actually spat my tea at the screen, you crack me up. I can not wait to meet you in person. You make me feel that they are such things as rainbows and pots of gold at the end of them
Hmm, don’t know where my comment went. Here it is again:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA etc.
That is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages!
That made me laugh!! Love it!
I love ‘[looks at me like I’m a moron]’. Flea is just too cool for school. So funny.
Brilliant that’s all I can say
lol, that is fab, sounds much like how my niece would react!
Ha! Nice to know it’s not just me, then.
Crikey, I wouldn’t raise your hopes THAT high.
Oh sure. If only to make me feel a bit less like a complete loser mother.
You too.
Whereas I don’t have Flea’s school photos because I get distracted and forget to send the order form back in time. Sigh..
ROFL! Oh that’s brilliant!
lmao, it has all been said! Great conversation. Mich x
Ah, you have the best things to say.Had to tell hubby this one and the monkey porn one.
This could be the funniest thing I’ve read all year! We love these kinds of child-hair stories! Thanks for sharing!
-Deb for Ouidad