It’s 7am, and I’m standing outside in my Batman jammies (don’t judge) and a hoodie, with my arms stuck out to the sides, forming a human umbrella over the dog.
What has my life come to?
I mean, it made sense at the time. The puppy needed to go outside (consistency being the key to toilet training) and it was hailing – and the puppy was scared of hail. But still. It’s ludicrous.
As the owner of a 13-week-old puppy, I am doing things that I cannot possibly justify to myself.
- Being a human umbrella at 7am in a hailstorm (see above)
- Talking to the dog like it’s a real person.
- Plucking half-chewed pieces of food from an animal’s mouth to check it’s not a choking hazard.
- Cooking organic chicken breast and chopping it up finely for the dog because, “She’s not feeling very well”. Then making a cheese sandwich for my own lunch.
- Cleaning unspeakable matter from the dog’s rear end because she’s not able to clean herself properly yet, and it’s stuck in the fur.
- Allowing the puppy to eat my shoes, while I’m wearing them, because, heck, at least she’s being quiet.
- Talking to strangers on the street when walking the dog because, apparently, that’s what Dog People do.
- Carrying a muddy, slobbering dog home for the last few minutes of a walk because she’s too tired, and has staged a lie-down protest.
- Stopping bringing the post in, if it’s in boxes or Jiffy envelopes, because Teddy barks at them. Same applies to shopping baskets on the kitchen counters.
- Sewing up holes in Teddy’s favourite teddies. Especially Mr Snuggles. So that Teddy can turn psycho and turn him into shredded fluff. Again.
So I’m prepared to admit that, maybe, at some point in the future, I could well become the sort of person who will buy the dog version of Glossybox for little Teddy. Even if it’s just at Christmas. Or her birthday. Or, you know, if she deserves a little treat. Oh, anytime, basically.
Barkbeats is a monthly subscription box for dogs. It comes in various versions, tailored to different dog sizes, and this month we tried out the version for small dogs.
For £14.95 a month, Barkbeats will send you a cardboard box filled with treats, toys and grooming products for your dog.
It’s a nice idea but I suspect its usefulness depends on how many of these kind of products you go through – I’m not sure we’d go through more than one packet of dog treats per month, and with a small dog who will need to be professionally groomed anyway, I’m interested to see how much dog shampoo we use (especially because, as a Westie, Teddy is prone to skin allergies).
That said, the box contents were fantastic quality and I’m sure worth more than the £15 or so the box cost. It’s nice that it wasn’t sample sizes, either, and I love that 10% of the proceeds go to charity – it’s nice to feel you’re doing something for other animals while you’re treating your own.
What do you reckon? Would you pamper your pooch with a monthly gift box?
If you’d like to get a closer look at our Barkbeats box, you can see Flea (and Teddy) unwrapping ours below, complete with the cutest puppy yawn at about 10 seconds in…