I feel a responsibility to be entertaining now I know I have an audience, but since I had a child, I figure I can leave that sort of thing mostly to her.
So, I canvassed Flea today on the things we should tell our readers about us.
I hope you'll agree we covered all the major bases, including this wonderful illustration of Flea and Mummy, by Flea. I should point out – my hair does NOT look like that.
Our names: Aiden the Monster and Sally (Flea has been going by the name of Aiden since last December. Does anyone else's kid do this?)
Our ages: 3 and 22 (in case I didn’t mention it yet, I love my kid)
What we want for our birthdays: Mummy wants a new car because she was driving fast and broke our black car and now she doesn't like the car we have because it is green. I want loads of things, but mostly I want a monkey that I saw on the floor yesterday. I think someone dropped it off a trampoline.
Our Best Friends: Peter and Thomas. Peter helps me do things that are hard, and Thomas is kind. Sometimes at school I play with Joshua and Aidan and Max and Charlie, but now it is the holidays.
We like to eat: Biscuits. But we like every sort of thing to eat.
We don’t like to eat: tomatoes, salad, mushrooms. Mummy doesn’t like things that are disgusting like pretend cheese and pepperami.
Our favourite game: Pirates. One of you is a pirate and the other one is a tiger. The tiger has to say “RAAAH” and then he squishes the pirate. That’s how you play.
What we want to do as a job: Mummy works on a computer, and I want to be a pirate, a knight or a burglar.
Our favourite toy: Mummy likes her iPod but my favourite is my Skeleton figures.
What makes us happy: I make Mummy happy and she makes me happy.
What makes us sad: When someone is naughty and they break something. Or if a puppy ate our biscuit.
What makes us cross: People who steal money from monkeys. (what???)