How to Make Friends and Influence People, Part 201

Desperate Housewives

As you might know, we just got back from a trip to New York. 

While we were there, my friend was attending a fancy dinner dance organised by her neighbourhood's Welcome Committee (Americans love committees). And I was invited. 

"Bring something nice to wear. Not super-fancy, but nice," she told me.

Given that "nice" usually translates into my cleanest pair of Converse, I was a bit nervous about the whole event, but I managed to cobble together an outfit that didn't feature jeans or baseball boots. 

So on Saturday evening, we arrived at the dinner dance, and it seems like everyone else got the "super-fancy" invite. It was high heels and cocktail frocks galore, along with fancy table decorations, a band, and a silent auction. Yikes. 

Fortunately, "fancy" is practically my middle-name, so I sat down and started making conversation with the couple sitting to my left. After a few minutes of chit-chat about Dutch versus Greek banking systems (no, really), the immaculately dressed lady on my left leaned towards me and said, "So, Sally, tell me all about dogging." 

"Pardon?" 

"Tell me all about dogging," she said, again. 

Jesus. It's like Desperate Housewives come to life. "Dogging? Really?" 

She smiled, and nodded. 

Well, I'm nothing if not helpful, so I launched into a detailed explanation of dogging, gleaned from a combination of tabloid newspapers and gossip websites. Obviously

The woman looked absolutely horrified. 

And it slowly dawned on me that I had perhaps misheard the original question. 

It turns out that it's actually very easy to mishear, "Tell me all about blogging," when there's a band. 

Oh yes. I bet they're still talking about that weird English woman this time next year. 

About 

Sally is a full-time blogger and founder of the Tots100, Trips100, Foodies100 and HIBS100 communities, along with the MAD Blog Awards. She spends a bit too much time on the Internet. She’s also a very happy Mum to Flea, the world’s coolest ten year old.

24 Comments

  1. 19th February 2012 / 5:05 pm

    That made my day!

  2. Pants With Names
    19th February 2012 / 5:05 pm

    Laughing A LOT. Would love to hear your dogging explanation…. bet you aren’t invited back next year!

  3. Michelle
    19th February 2012 / 5:59 pm

    Excellent 😉 xx

  4. TheBoyandMe
    19th February 2012 / 8:10 pm

    Nooo! Oh dear God!

  5. 19th February 2012 / 10:11 pm

    I can’t laugh at that, honest i want to find it funny but i’m not sure I can!! I can see how you misheard her though! poor you! x

  6. 20th February 2012 / 9:43 am

    Brilliant!
    Whenever my Dad used to walk the dog after lunch, my mum always said, “Michael’s just going dogging to avoid the washing up”. I think she was the victim of hearing something on TV and not understanding it…

  7. 20th February 2012 / 9:49 am

    I live to amuse. Which is lucky, given that my life is so ridiculous.

  8. 20th February 2012 / 9:55 am

    I’m available for weddings, dinner parties AND bah-mitvahs.

  9. 20th February 2012 / 9:58 am

    too too too funny

  10. 20th February 2012 / 10:10 am

    Absolutely brilliant, I bet you’ll be invited again!!

  11. 20th February 2012 / 10:51 am

    Great for some reason my comments never get published properly-I’m blaming my rikety computer!
    …Hysterical! At least you will not be forgotten!

  12. 20th February 2012 / 1:02 pm

    In a very, very quiet office, my chuckle that turned into a loud snort turned heads. Am imagining the feeling of mortification for you and…. yes, sorry, still laughing!! Fabulous!

  13. michelle twin mum
    20th February 2012 / 8:42 pm

    They say laughter is the best medicine, sorry Sally but you just had hubbie and I in fits of laughter and considering he is in bed and can’t move, thats appreciated.
    Mich x

  14. Julie-Ann Murphy
    20th February 2012 / 8:48 pm

    Yikes! Have just spat my tea out all over my keyboard reading this one! Love it.

  15. Mammywoo
    20th February 2012 / 8:50 pm

    Hahahahahaha oh my god!!! Brilliant. Thank you

  16. 20th February 2012 / 9:29 pm

    Lol!! That’s hilarious. Reminds me of a dinner party attended by a dim friend of mine. She spent part of the evening grilling a Barrister about his earnings and his coffee making skills. Another misheard word.

  17. Nikki
    20th February 2012 / 10:20 pm

    Brilliant Sally, although your in depth knowledge of dogging is alarming!
    I made the mistake at hubbie’s christmas work meal of asking his financial controller how his celery was – since he’d left it, he totally misheard and thought I’d asked what his salary was – he proceeded to bluster and fangle a polite response that it was adequate LOL. Once explained I was laughing so much I accidentally knocked my napkin over and set the table on fire.
    Yep, I’m with you Sally – nice to know these types of things don’t only happen to me :-))))

  18. Adriana
    21st February 2012 / 11:15 am

    How NOT to make friends & influence people! Ha Ha! This happens to me quite often!

  19. 21st February 2012 / 2:27 pm

    Ah, well British are always famous of their sense of humor, I bet you’ll be invited again! I had no idea what dogging was until now, I googled it lol. I too am interested in the way you explained it though!

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