The Commando Kid

Flea Like most infant schools, Flea’s school is ramping up for the annual nativity production. Each morning the kids get changed into their costumes and head off for rehearsals in the main hall.

To make life easier, the school has asked that infant children wear their PE jogging suits and t-shirts rather than regular uniform. Of course, Flea finds this a dizzyingly exciting prospect and this morning announced she would dress herself in her PE kit.

As I dropped her at the classroom door this morning, I thought she’d made rather a good job of it. The t-shirt wasn’t tucked in, but apart from that she looked pretty respectable. 

Or so I thought.

I’ve been in Birmingham today doing some training, so my sister-in-law offered to collect Flea from school and give her dinner and a bath. My SIL lives near the motorway exit, so I could pick up Flea on my way home. When I arrived, Flea was in the bath with her cousin, so I started gathering up her clothes. Hmm. Pink knickers. “I think these belong to one of yours,” I told my sister-in-law.

My sister-in-law shook her head. “No, Flea was wearing them.”

Weird. I’m sure Flea doesn’t have any pink knickers, and certainly not from Asda. “Flea where did these knickers come from?”

Flea looked up: “Mrs Hardman gave them to me,” she said, proudly.

And it was then the horrible truth dawned: Flea went to school commando.

I explained to my sister-in-law about Flea dressing herself. “And you didn’t think to CHECK??” she shrieked in disbelief.

Er, no. I didn’t know you had to check. But apparently, that’s something experienced parents know. Always check they’ve put knickers on. There needs to be a manual with this kind of information in it.

So, hot on the heels of the monkey porn incident, my child arrived at school sans knickers and presumably proceeded to flash the class her bare little butt, until a teacher noticed and gave her a spare pair of pants.

Seriously, somewhere in the staffroom there's a list – and my name's got to be at the top of it.


Sally is a full-time blogger and founder of the Tots100, Trips100, Foodies100 and HIBS100 communities, along with the MAD Blog Awards. She spends a bit too much time on the Internet. She’s also a very happy Mum to Flea, the world’s coolest ten year old.

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  1. Liz (LivingwithKids)
    9th December 2009 / 9:58 pm

    Oh no! Bless her heart. I’m sure no one thought anything of it at school. Come to think of it, I don’t remember ever checking the pants situation either. Oops!

  2. 9th December 2009 / 10:56 pm

    I didn’t know you needed to check! (I’m so on that list, too.)

  3. 10th December 2009 / 8:47 am

    Oh how hilarious. I think she did a good job, without or without the knickers!

  4. 10th December 2009 / 9:55 am

    Tee hee hee 🙂
    I wouldn’t feel too bad though- obviously happens more than you’d think for the teacher to have a spare pants stash?

  5. Vic
    10th December 2009 / 11:42 am

    You have to laugh!
    The boy’s pretty good with pants/school trousers, but mainly because I grab all his clothes and lob them at him in the morning rush so they’re in the pile of things to put on. The amount of times we’ve realised he’s gone commando on the weekends though could not be counted on all our hands and feet.

  6. 10th December 2009 / 12:50 pm

    hmm, mine often go commando, so I guess I am on that list too

  7. Christel
    10th December 2009 / 1:46 pm

    Sally, although I do not have any munchkins of my own, I read your blog regularly as I truly enjoy the wit and wisdom you and Flea share. ;0) Can’t wait to see you when you come visit the US next!

  8. 10th December 2009 / 2:03 pm

    Quite frankly, it’s the school who should be looking sheepish. I mean pants from Asda? They should at least have M&S or John Lewis knickers. Have they no standards!
    I actually took Ava to a ballet exam on Monday where parents were being told to remove their children’s pants – apparently it ruins the line of the leotard…

  9. Chris Brennan
    10th December 2009 / 3:41 pm

    13 year old niece made it to the bus stop with no shoes. Sadly, it was the bus stop outside school. In truth she wasn’t all that bothered. I ended up taking two pairs into school, she still had the cheek to complain that she didn’t like the ones I’d brought.

  10. 10th December 2009 / 4:37 pm

    One of my daughters used to go to school commando regularly. It was a problem when she hung upside down on the monkey bars too. I told the not-smiling teacher that it wasn’t a behavioural trait she’d learnt from her mother. ;-p

  11. angelsandurchinsblog
    10th December 2009 / 8:01 pm

    That is classic. Definitely one to bring up at her 18th birthday party. And her 21st. And anytime you want her to do whatever you say! At least she hadn’t wet her pants, that used to be far worse. You’d be given a nightmare pair of scratchy acrylic numbers, and have to take your own home in a clear plastic bag so everyone could see your shame!

  12. Mummy Mania
    10th December 2009 / 9:00 pm

    thank god, someone else with a bare bottom problem! Daisy takes her pants off the second she comes home and refuses to wear them. Since our house resembles Picadilly Circus at the momment with a constant stream of visitors, my daughter now comes with a health warning. Don’t look at daisy when she does a cartwheel or you’ll choke on your tea. And seriously, who has time to check??

  13. Sally
    10th December 2009 / 10:09 pm

    @Liz and @Mwa – thanks, I’m so glad I’m not the only one who didn’t know you’re supposed to check!
    @Maternal Tales – well, she seemed relatively pleased with herself, which I guess is what counts!
    @Littledudes – yes, I suspect most infant schools have a stash in case of accidents, if nothing else! One hopes there aren’t thousands of little kids going to school commando across the country!
    @MetropolitanMum – 262? Good grief, I only know about 12. You should write a book for the rest of us…
    @Vic – “lob them at him”. Ah, a woman after my own heart…
    @MadHouse – you’re in good company, at least 😉
    @Christel – Aw, thanks, it’ll be lovely to see you when we’re next over. I think Flea was only just one last time you saw her!
    @Dawn – exactly. I don’t pay school fees so my child can wear ASDA underwear. Tsk.
    @Chris – arf. I love stroppy teenagers.
    @Vegemitevix – I haven’t seen Flea’s teacher yet. I’m hoping she’ll look on the funny side.
    @angels – Oh yes, it’s going in my special book. I’m going to have a special book for whenever she annoys me when she’s a teenager. It’s going to be full of stories like this one.
    @MummyMania – oh, that made me snigger. Good on you, Daisy, it’s a habit that could make you very popular in later life.

  14. 11th December 2009 / 3:18 am

    Oh no! I have visions of my youngest doing that too as on most days he refuses to wear underwear still.

  15. Aly
    12th December 2009 / 7:19 am

    Oh, Sally that does beat monkey porn.Look forward to reading the book in a few years.