The problem with being inherently ridiculous is that if someone asks on Facebook who wants to take part in a meme, you can’t help the reflex that makes you say ME-ME-ME-ME as a joke that nobody except you finds remotely amusing.
And so it is that I’ve been tagged by the quite wonderful Jayne at Mum’s the Word to take part in a Q&A meme in which I answer some random questions of her own creation.
All I have to do is answer them, then make up my own questions for some blogging chums. So here goes:
What was the last thing that made you cry?
God, honestly? I cry all the time, which is surprising considering that I am basically dead inside. I especially cry at movies you’re not supposed to cry at. Fault in our Stars left me cold, but The Little Princess? I cried about 5 times.
My most recent tears were down to a combination of a rotten cold, hormones and a work thing kicking off at stupid o’clock on a Sunday night. I might have posted something needy on Facebook and called my best friend to declare that I should get a proper job that I can actually do, instead of a job where I pretend I understand what’s going on.
It wasn’t a high point, but I got over it when I realised my job is basically all I’m qualified to do. Stupid English degree.
Finish this sentence…”Never have I ever…”
I could finish this sentence but I’m an editor by trade, and if I finished it without editing it for clarity first, I’d have to punch myself in the face. That said, I can pretty much guarantee that I have never bought a Simply Red record, watched the X-Factor, or eaten cheese that comes in an aerosol can, a tube, or processed slices. Some things are just sacred.
Would you rather fight one elephant sized gerbil, or 1000 gerbil sized elephants? Why?
Simple. One elephant-sized gerbil. Logically, it’s easier to defeat one enemy than a hundred. Although, I’d question why we’re at war. Don’t they just eat seeds and sleep 20 hours a day? I feel like we’d be friends.
If you had £50 to spend on something JUST for you, on what would you spend it?
A load of TV box-sets on iTunes. I’m addicted to box sets. Lately, I’m all about Suits, Nashville and Castle. You’ll note that I didn’t say I was addicted to intellectually challenging box-sets.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen somebody do?
I once did an interview with a high-ranking executive from IBM at a conference in New York. A few minutes after I sat down, I realised there was a man hiding under the table. And he stayed there for the whole morning, during a series of interviews. Either he was a seriously dedicated corporate spy, or he was a member of hotel staff who had sneaked under there for a quick nap, without realising the room was booked for press meetings all day.
A close second was that guy from the Jim Rose circus who put metal poles through his own genitals, and then hung a beer keg from them, all in the name of entertainment.
If you could have one superhero’s powers, what would you choose?
I’m tempted to say Infinity, a Marvel character that can manipulate the universe to achieve anything, and which assumes a female form when addressing lesser beings.
But actually, I’d go for Tempo, who can speed up and slow down time at will. That way I could whizz through tax returns and passive-aggressive arguments on Twitter but really savour family time and visiting new places. Although I’d mostly use my powers for sweets. You know how you open a packet of Maltesers and then you look down and realise the packet is half-empty and you can’t remember eating them? Yeah. That never happens to Tempo.
What would be the first sentence of a book about your life?
Stick with it, it might get good later.
My 7 Questions for others are:
- What’s the last really evil thought you had?
- When did you last donate to charity, and why?
- What’s the naughtiest thing you did at school and did you get caught?
- What’s your guilty pleasure?
- Do you believe in ghosts?
- What’s the lamest Christmas present you ever received?
- If you could live in any city in the world, for one year, where would it be?