He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been good or bad
So be good for goodness sake
Seriously? That's a lot of pressure for a little kid.
Flea is aware that her Christmas happiness (in other words, whether she gets the pogo stick she asked for) depends on good conduct. As it happens, she's pretty good as a rule so I think her chances are quite high – but Flea doesn't know that.
Still, you don't want to take any chances with something THAT important, so Flea has decided to ensure that she is the best child in the world in recent days. And that includes sucking up to me so thoroughly I might as well have given birth to a vacuum cleaner.
This week's gems have included:
"Mummy, I love you so much that if it was a love tree and I climbed it, I would end up in Heaven."
"Mummy, I love you so much there isn't a number. Oh, hang on, I love you a thousand infinities, in fact."
"You are the best Mummy in the whole world, because I like everything about you." (I made her say this again, on video, so I can replay it when she's 13 and hates everything about me)
"Is that a new outfit Mummy? I like everything about it."
And my personal favourite?
"I am out of bed because I forgot to give you the extra, special cuddle. Oh, and also, there are some wonderful gift ideas in this comic."
10 out of 10 for effort, I feel.