You Know You’re Old When…

  • Your child hears the YMCA skit in the new Despicable Me movie and shouts out “Mummy! It’s” because she has NO IDEA it’s actually a song.
  • You watch your child stare at a can of Coke with a removable ring-pull for several minutes before giving up and handing it to you, saying, “I don’t know how to do these old-fashioned ones.” 
  • You wish they’d stop inventing new phones long enough for you to learn to actually use the one you already own.
  • You explain to your child that Roald Dahl was your age when you were a child and they reply, “Oh, does that mean he was a Victorian?” 
  • You read a thread about teenage slang and realise you can’t get away with using a single one of the examples without looking ridiculous.
  • Your child sings a song about Marylin Monroe. Ten minutes later she says, “Who’s Mary Money-Row?” 
  • You get into a 20 minute argument over the existence of black and white television. You resort to using YouTube to win the argument.
  • You respond to 50% of your child’s questions about how this or that technology works with an answer that involves the words “magic” and “pixies”.
  • The idea that you are older than Disneyland Paris prompts a “SERIOUSLY?” so incredulous that it’s borderline insulting.
  • Your child no longer wants a nap, but you’d KILL for one.


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