flea pink hair

Parenting a 12 year old is weird.


It has become painfully apparent over the past six months that the Flea I once knew has disappeared.

I used to have a child who thought I was awesome, and had answers to all the problems in the world. Now I have a 12-year-old who knows, with a deep and abiding certainty, that I am an idiot.

Not only do I not understand ANYTHING, but I insist on embarrassing myself by trying to talk about music, or fashion.

I joke, but parenting a 12 year old is a big shift. I barely felt able to parent a 9-year-old but at least she mostly did as I asked.

Now I have my own in-house sub-editor, who interrupts any story I tell anyone with her corrections and edits. Thank goodness for blogger friends going through the same stages.

Fellow tween parents, do you recognise these questions?

12 Questions Parents of 12 Year Olds Ask Themselves

  • How many days in a row can I remind someone to have a shower before I can physically pick them up and deposit them in the bath?
  • At what point did, “That’s a nice coat, Mum,” turn into, “That’s nice…for a Mum Coat”?
  • How is that everything I own is a Mum-coat, Mum-jeans etc? At least, right up until the moment my daughter steals it to wear herself?
  • When did, “I’m just going upstairs to get my shoes,” become code for, “I’m just going upstairs to watch YouTube, listen to music, rearrange my posters…” 
  • How can you go upstairs to get changed, spend 2 hours faffing, and come downstairs STILL NOT WEARING SHOES??
  • Why is it so easy to take a plate to the kitchen but absolutely impossible to actually put it in the sink? 
  • Just how many Sephora highlighters can one human use in a single lifetime?
  • How can I be “so embarrassing”, when I’m literally just standing here, breathing?
  • When did it become okay to ask me to take you and all your friends to Frankie & Benny’s, then ask me to sit on another table? See also, “Can you take us to the cinema but you have to go and see a different film to us?” 
  • How can you insist in walking to school without a coat in zero degree weather, but require a massive mermaid blanket and a onesie to watch TV in our centrally heated house?
  • How can you carry every book you own in your school bag each day, and still get notes in your planner complaining you didn’t take your maths textbook to class?
  • Seriously, where do all the mugs go?