Parenting a 12 year old is weird.
It has become painfully apparent over the past six months that the Flea I once knew has disappeared.
I used to have a child who thought I was awesome, and had answers to all the problems in the world. Now I have a 12-year-old who knows, with a deep and abiding certainty, that I am an idiot.
Not only do I not understand ANYTHING, but I insist on embarrassing myself by trying to talk about music, or fashion.
I joke, but parenting a 12 year old is a big shift. I barely felt able to parent a 9-year-old but at least she mostly did as I asked.
Fellow tween parents, do you recognise these questions?
12 Questions Parents of 12 Year Olds Ask Themselves
- How many days in a row can I remind someone to have a shower before I can physically pick them up and deposit them in the bath?
- At what point did, “That’s a nice coat, Mum,” turn into, “That’s nice…for a Mum Coat”?
- How is that everything I own is a Mum-coat, Mum-jeans etc? At least, right up until the moment my daughter steals it to wear herself?
- When did, “I’m just going upstairs to get my shoes,” become code for, “I’m just going upstairs to watch YouTube, listen to music, rearrange my posters…”
- How can you go upstairs to get changed, spend 2 hours faffing, and come downstairs STILL NOT WEARING SHOES??
- Why is it so easy to take a plate to the kitchen but absolutely impossible to actually put it in the sink?
- Just how many Sephora highlighters can one human use in a single lifetime?
- How can I be “so embarrassing”, when I’m literally just standing here, breathing?
- When did it become okay to ask me to take you and all your friends to Frankie & Benny’s, then ask me to sit on another table? See also, “Can you take us to the cinema but you have to go and see a different film to us?”
- How can you insist in walking to school without a coat in zero degree weather, but require a massive mermaid blanket and a onesie to watch TV in our centrally heated house?
- How can you carry every book you own in your school bag each day, and still get notes in your planner complaining you didn’t take your maths textbook to class?
- Seriously, where do all the mugs go?