20 Signs That You Need a Blogging Intervention

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I was chatting on the phone to my bloggy friend Josie from Sleep is for the Weak a few days ago.

We were giggling at those tragic people who take their blogging and Tweeting so seriously that they forget to actually have real lives to blog about. Ha ha. Yeah, I bet some of those people are so obsessed with blogging they check Twitter in the supermarket, she sniggered.

There was a long pause.

“Erm, actually, I do that,” I confessed. 

Another pause.

“I would too, if I had a smartphone.”

So basically, we ARE the sad obsessed people that other people laugh at. In fact, maybe it’s got to the stage that we need an independent third party to stage an intervention and make us STEP AWAY from the Internet.

After some thought, I’ve put together a proper, scientific set of diagnostic criteria for parent blogging addiction. I’d like to make clear that I have NEVER met a single one of these criteria at any time. Nope. Not a one*. 

(* This may be a total lie)

How about you? How many of these will you admit to?

  1. Five minutes after posting on your blog, you find yourself feverishly hitting refresh demanding, “Why has nobody commented yet?”  
  2. You accidentally refer to your friends by their Twitter user names.
  3. You’re in a bad mood all day if your traffic stats fall.  
  4. You can name your blog’s top 10 referring sites – from memory. 
  5. You find yourself tweaking the family Christmas cards for better SEO.    
  6. When someone un-follows you on Twitter, you have to fight the urge to ask them what their problem is.
  7. You bought a smart phone, basically so you can check Twitter while you’re enjoying quality parent/child time.
  8. You can’t nominate in the MADs because you cannot possibly narrow down your favourite blogs to JUST ten.
  9. Your pre-schooler already knows how to open Tweetdeck.
  10. When you take a photo of your kids, they say, “Is this for your blog?”
  11. You can’t remember your children’s shoe size, but you know your Technorati score by heart. 
  12. You come out in a cold sweat at the mere thought of your broadband connection going down. 
  13. When your partner accuses you of blogging too much, you immediately write a blog post asking, “Am I blogging too much?” 
  14. If you don’t Tweet for more than two hours, people start to worry you’ve fallen down a well.
  15. You need a new blog theme so you can fit in more awards from doing memes
  16. You want to cry when you lose a Google follower. 
  17. You can’t remember the last conversation you had with your sister that wasn’t on Facebook
  18. When dressing in the morning, you automatically assess your outfit for potential v-log suitability.
  19. You can remember exactly where you were when you found out your Twitter followers had hit triple figures.
  20. When something expensive in your house breaks you find yourself thinking, “Oh well, it’ll make a great blog post”. 

About 

Sally is a full-time blogger and founder of the Tots100, Trips100, Foodies100 and HIBS100 communities, along with the MAD Blog Awards. She spends a bit too much time on the Internet. She’s also a very happy Mum to Flea, the world’s coolest ten year old.

74 Comments

  1. 14th April 2010 / 8:00 am

    Raising my hand and admitting to numbers 1, 2 and 7, 12 and 20. Especially number 7. The iPhone has saved me from the boredom of another tea party with the cuddly toys many, many times. For that alone, it is worth it.
    As for the Twitter unfollowing thing, I know that I occasionally have to unfollow some folks for awhile, not because I don’t like them or like what they have to say, but because some of the heavier users can make reading Twitter overwhelming for me so from time to time I do a big cull and then slowly add back in. So if I’ve ever unfollowed anyone that’s why! Nothing personal, just a sanity-saving thing.

  2. 14th April 2010 / 8:03 am

    Oh god.
    It’s worse than I thought… I *knew* I was the worst culprit. I don’t do the stats based ones so much, but all the others I am completely guilty as charged. And let’s face it you had me in find when you wrote most of these 😉
    Except seven. Obviously. Who would do THAT? Honestly… tut.

  3. Liz (LivingwithKids)
    14th April 2010 / 8:14 am

    Four of these. Not saying which. Great post x

  4. 14th April 2010 / 8:15 am

    Are you founding “Bloggers Anonymous” because obviously I am going to be first through the door! I’m trying to figure out how to justify a “smartphone” so I can Tweet on the “road” so people DON’T worry if I miss a few hours on Twitter. One day that happened! God, what’s happened to me…
    I am a blog/Twit-aholic…My name is…wait…is it Cafe Bebe or Karin? I forget!
    😉

  5. Kailexmummy
    14th April 2010 / 8:18 am

    I’ve only just started a blog but I’m already cutting down my facebook time because of it, addictive isn’t it! Thanks for the laugh, great post.

  6. Deb
    14th April 2010 / 9:32 am

    Oh gawd, will it sound really boring if I say I’m only guilty of number 10? Honestly. Poor children have sat and watched as I’ve shouted “don’t eat the cake yet, don’t eat it, where’s my camera? I need to take a pic”.
    But as for you lot! Tsk, honestly! Perhaps you could start an Internet Anonymous Group…:0)
    (I do admit to using my phone in the supermarket when I want to check the ingredients for a recipe. Felt pretty chuffed with myself when I did that which probably is sad too).

  7. 14th April 2010 / 8:57 am

    Great post Sally. Guilt as charged. Not to all of them – I’m a late adopter – but like Liz, I’m not saying which.

  8. 14th April 2010 / 9:06 am

    Oooh dear….. (suspect I may be a lost cause already…)

  9. 14th April 2010 / 9:08 am

    I dunno. Not me or anyone I know. Probably.
    *coughs even louder*

  10. 14th April 2010 / 9:09 am

    I also am TERRIBLE for number 7. I’m feeling really guilty about it. Not guilty enough to stop, obviously 😉

  11. 14th April 2010 / 9:09 am

    It’s true. I have done none of these and you have done them all. LOSER.

  12. 14th April 2010 / 9:10 am

    Tweeting on the move is like a virus though – all-pervading. It’s terrible. I love it.

  13. 14th April 2010 / 9:10 am

    LOL…10 of the 20 so that’s not bad is it, really? Although I do stay up far too late at night because it’s the only time I get to blog; talk about my ‘blog friends’ more than my ‘real’ friends; reach for my iphone before I’ve even opened my eyes in the morning; and receive concerned messages from my mother demanding that I find “a happy place” based on the content she’s reading.
    Problem? Me? Nah!
    Great Post, Px

  14. 14th April 2010 / 9:11 am

    No 21: looking at the laptop over lunch instead of reading the paper.
    No 22: composing replies to blog posts while ds explains the finer points of Pokemon on the way to school.

  15. 14th April 2010 / 9:11 am

    Oh gosh, I love your Mum’s messages – that’s classic!

  16. Itsamummyslife
    14th April 2010 / 9:18 am

    Oh dear gulity as charged . Toddler has melt down in sainsburys? Oh well it’ll make a great post.

  17. 14th April 2010 / 9:20 am

    I an guilty of all of them. Except for the google blog followers thing. Cos I don’t have that on my blog. Oh and I communicate with my brother via Twitter. But other than that yes. My children regularly tell me to turn my phone off, which makes me feel like a moody teenager. Right, off to see if anyone has commented on my new post…

  18. 14th April 2010 / 9:21 am

    10/20, and number 7 is definitely one I feel bad about. I am going on holiday in a few weeks and will have a week (A WHOLE WEEK) without the internet. I am breaking out in a sweat just thinking about it…

  19. 14th April 2010 / 9:27 am

    I’m definitely guilty of number 21. Who isn’t???

  20. 14th April 2010 / 9:27 am

    Well, you could argue then that blogging is a positive influence in our lives, right?

  21. 14th April 2010 / 9:28 am

    I’ve had, “Mummy, why do you work on your phone every day and every night?”
    I am evil.

  22. 14th April 2010 / 9:28 am

    Me too – I’m simultaneously excited and terrified at the idea of being cut off.

  23. 14th April 2010 / 9:29 am

    Me too – I’m simultaneously excited and terrified at the idea of being cut off for a whole 10 days…

  24. 14th April 2010 / 10:00 am

    Funny! Think I’m only really guilty of No 1 and 20, but when I got sent a CD recently and played it in the car, my 4 yr old asked where I got it from. I said ,”Oh, someone sent it to me.” He said, “Did they send it because you wrote your blog well?” Seems the blog is seeping into my life more than I might be prepared to admit!

  25. 14th April 2010 / 10:01 am

    I reckon the first couple of days going cold turkey will painful. But then I’m hoping for a feeling of freedom…

  26. 14th April 2010 / 10:05 am

    *hands over ears* la la la la not listening!! I’m in denial on all of these, but really there are 11 there which I do. I’m so not doing any vlogging though which rules out number 18. I’m gutted when people unfollow and try to analyse where it all went wrong. And as for the Technorati score – oh yes I know that one off by heart: 1! Just 1! What are they playing at for chrissakes? 1! I need a lie down.

  27. 14th April 2010 / 10:07 am

    You are a stronger woman than the rest of us. Maybe you should be our support group leader. Teach us how to be like you, Oh Wise One!
    I did the same sort of thing with my phone – I checked hacks for Blu-Ray players while in Comet, I’m sure the sales guy thought I was doing something really dodgy!

  28. 14th April 2010 / 10:08 am

    Flea says that sort of thing: “Are we going to Legoland so you can put it on your computer?”

  29. 14th April 2010 / 10:08 am

    I’m not vlogging because NONE of my outfits pass muster!

  30. 14th April 2010 / 10:26 am

    Oh feck. I am not sure if I feel comforted or more depressed to know I need further intervention. I get into a cold sweat when my phone does not have signal. My husband got into a cold sweat when he realised I’d deleted facebook – he is worried he will have to converse with me and also not know what I am up to…

  31. 14th April 2010 / 10:32 am

    Sally-am with you. I do none of those! *nose growing longer and longer..*

  32. 14th April 2010 / 10:55 am

    ok, I feel like a bit of a looser now! I thought so hard about twittter – and even joined (i think) but decided it was not in my best interest to get involved – I just don’t have the time management skills to do it!! you guys are serious hard core – respect! Not I’ll potter off and check my blog – only guilty of number one….. although did take a photo of Halloween buns once!!

  33. 14th April 2010 / 11:49 am

    Mmm. Not me, surely. Not the one who is trying desperately to finally get that horrible Feedburner working, because SURELY I haven’t lost readers, they’ve just all moved to RSS feeds. Right. RIGHT???

  34. 14th April 2010 / 1:36 pm

    Guilty on several accounts. Number 12 brings back particularly difficult memories. When British Gas came round to move the position of my telephone wire I broke into a cold sweat and actually shouted the words “What do you mean no internet access for over two hours?” at the poor chap. He looked at me as if I’d gone mad.

  35. 14th April 2010 / 1:37 pm

    Oh Sally, please never, ever let my husband see this post. It’s so accurate and number 5 made me LOL to the point of snorting coffee over desk.

  36. 14th April 2010 / 1:40 pm

    Its not killing me that my Blackberry has been sent for repairs and I can’t tweet or check emails more often, honest *cough* *fiddles thumbs*

  37. 14th April 2010 / 1:41 pm

    Good grief – I can actually breathe a sigh of relief!!! I’m guilty of…wait for it…
    ONE. Just one.
    Of course I won’t say which one, but I sure as hell feel a whole lot better. Maybe there’s still time for me yet?
    PS I have no idea how many follow me, blog OR twitter, and I still have no clue about Tecnoramus. I suspect I’ll be booted out the Twitter Blogger Club any day now.

  38. Mary Poppins
    14th April 2010 / 1:49 pm

    “Hands up, baby hands up*…. I am in need of intervention ;0) I won’t tell you how many “THE LOOKS” I get from the husband for bing on here,and dare I say it, the DD has (hopefully) jested about me loving the computer more than I do her….
    Super post X

  39. 14th April 2010 / 1:53 pm

    Ohoo I don’t have to leave my number do I, alright then, as we are all friends, more than 10, less than 20 :0) X

  40. Deb
    14th April 2010 / 2:59 pm

    Oh not wise at all, just y’know knackered + rubbish at time management. Plus I find having five children helps with any would-be internet addiction…

  41. 14th April 2010 / 2:33 pm

    I am so relieved by locking myself out of twitter I am automatically saved from 6 of the criteria…so I am just about normal then!!! 😉

  42. 14th April 2010 / 2:58 pm

    I don’t know where you got number 8 from. *whistles nonchalantly*
    I take more photos of the backs of my children’s heads than their faces these days so I can use them on my blog. That can’t be right!

  43. nomorexcuses
    14th April 2010 / 3:52 pm

    So… you people have “real names”?? Who knew. I feel like I’m meting you all over again 🙂

  44. 14th April 2010 / 4:23 pm

    It’s shocking. Those poor people. And their families. Something should be done

  45. Insomniac Mummy
    14th April 2010 / 6:38 pm

    I feel strangely relieved that I’ve never ever, EVER, done any of those things. Ever.*
    🙂
    *This may also be a total lie

  46. 14th April 2010 / 11:07 pm

    Thank goodness, I’m only about a quarter of the way there. Does that mean that there’s hope for me?!

  47. Vic
    14th April 2010 / 11:18 pm

    It’s quite possible I need an intervention. Trouble is, the husband does too. Sounds like we’re both screwed!

  48. 14th April 2010 / 11:39 pm

    Oh, gosh, I’ve done that, too! When I had the house decorated, I spent the entire week shouting, “No, you MAY NOT unplug the router! Just work around it! I need wireless!”

  49. 14th April 2010 / 11:39 pm

    My sincere apologies. Also, don’t forget to delete your browsing history.

  50. 14th April 2010 / 11:39 pm

    I completely and utterly believe you. *cough*

  51. 14th April 2010 / 11:40 pm

    You’re dead right. I think it’s Twitter that tips some of us (not me, obviously) over the edge.

  52. 14th April 2010 / 11:42 pm

    haha! Busted.
    I’m the same with Flea. I take a photo and then I’m like, “Let me take another one where I can’t see your face”. She thinks I’m bonkers.

  53. 14th April 2010 / 11:42 pm

    I know, REAL names and REAL children and everything! Weird, isn’t it?

  54. 14th April 2010 / 11:43 pm

    I can start a collection if it would help.

  55. 14th April 2010 / 11:44 pm

    Oh yes, definitely. You’ve got a long way to slide down the slippery slope. It’s inevitable, though. IT WILL HAPPEN.

  56. 14th April 2010 / 11:44 pm

    Well, I can’t comment on your personal life but it sounds a bit co-dependent to me 😉

  57. 20th April 2010 / 1:25 pm

    I think I have all of the above…. but the last time I came back from a business trip and sent a text to my husband as i got to my car to say I had landed. His response was…… ‘I know…. I read it on Twitter…’
    Owch.

  58. 20th April 2010 / 3:54 pm

    Arf – that is classic. And also the reason why I don’t let any of my family or significant others use Twitter.

  59. 21st April 2010 / 7:24 pm

    Guilty as charged I’m afraid. It is good to just unplug from the matrix from time to time though isn’t it?

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