25 Reasons you don’t deserve Mother’s Day Gifts


Ah, Mother’s Day.

That special day of the year when family and friends congratulate us on being selfless, loving creatures who would do anything for our precious offspring.

Except when we’re lying through our teeth, obviously.

Being a Mum is – I’m increasingly convinced – one long con-trick. If I’m not trying to convince Flea that I am a normal, sensible adult, I’m trying to convince other people that I am competent at this parenting lark.

Perhaps that’s why I’ve become such a convincing liar in recent years. Lies I’ve told Flea include:

  • The sun glows because it’s got solar batteries in it.
  • What chocolate wrapper? Oh, that’s from last week.
  • Of course I knew it was a picture of a pineapple.
  • What’s a cretin? Well, it’s a bit like a pancake.

Mind you, I’m not the only one. I asked some blogging chums to share the lies they’ve recently told to their loved ones and it turns out motherhood? Is an EPIDEMIC OF DECEIT. A veritable Festival of Falsehood.

Here’s the proof. How many of these whoppers will you confess to?




















Natural Kitchen






Cambridge Mummy


If you’re a forgiving sort, then I’ve been sent some rather lovely Mother’s Day gifts to try out, even despite the pants-on-fire nature of my existence.

These lush flowers from Appleyard Flowers arrived beautifully packaged, and have remained fresh and fragrant all week. I was also lucky to be able to send my Mum some flowers from Appleyard and the quality really was amazing. Do check out the range over on their website – if you do, you can get a rather splendid 40% off Mother’s Day deliveries from Appleyard by using the discount code BLOG40 when you check out.


I also swooned a bit at the Mother’s Day range over at Sass & Belle, one of my go-to stores for presents for friends who I like a lot. Check out these amazing mug and squishy cushion – perfect for Mums who love a bit of vintage style!


24 thoughts on “25 Reasons you don’t deserve Mother’s Day Gifts”

  1. I am going out to buy me some Fangtastics. I don’t know what they are but they must be good! Lovely flowers too! My mother’s day gift is squishy and cost £3 at the school mother’s day store. That’s all I know because I haven’t peeked (honest!)

  2. Haha I do things like that all the time – something will definitely not be on Netflix anymore, or its disappeared.

    My favourite porky pie at the moment has to be “we cant do something because it has run out of batteries” started by my children actually. They associate running out of batteries with things that no longer work or are closed etc. For example the shops are now closed (Tesco is actually 24 hours but hey ho) as they have run out of batteries.

    Mine are too young to give me the whole, Tesco sells batteries. So I am rolling with it for now 🙂

  3. Eveything that I am eating and don’t want to share is “spicy” in our house. Yep, even that chocolate egg….. Wayyyy to spicy for a small child…..

  4. I once told my five-year old that the Tampax in my handbag were sweets…and then really regretted it when I turned to see her munching on one on the bus!

  5. Georgina Andersen

    Ha ha this really made me laugh. I tell the chocolate wrapper fib quite regularly, in fact almost every morning when my children come downstairs. I also go into the kitchen and hide with my head in mummy and daddy’s snack cupboard… When my son comes in and asks what I am eating I always say mushrooms! Best answer ever as my son hates mushrooms. I hate them too but he hasn’t cottoned on to that one yet 😉
    Great blog, would love your thoughts on one I have literally just started if you have time to visit. I would welcome some feedback from a pro x

  6. Awww I don’t get to lie to my daughter often, she is on the Aspie side and takes everything way too literally, but my most memorable just flew out of my mouth when she was around 3 year’s old and persistently getting out of bed !

    ” It’s not the monsters under the bed that you need to be afraid of, it’s the ones on the landing that you need to watch out for ”

    Worked a treat ! 😉

  7. Oh gorgeous flowers… I love flowers although I don’t often justify their cost. These are ever so pretty though. I think the “white” lies on here are brilliant and I quite often say that chocolate wrappers are old ones… Or scrumple it up when there’s still chocolate in it and say oh no that’s an empty one…and eat it myself later. Mean mum.

  8. Baha this made me laugh, I told my eldest my phone had an in built lie detector to deter fibs. It worked (even if it required a lie to make it work). All these white lies are for the best. Will be stealing many of the above, thanks!

  9. Ashamed to say I have definitely said a few of the above but my fav is when I told my daughter I was 15 and she believe me. She went to school and told her teachers and friends.

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