Since I split from The Father three years ago, it’s been me and Flea. I’ve worked part-time since she was born, and we’ve always spent loads of time together. So suddenly not knowing what she’s doing between 8.30am and 4pm five days of the week – really weird.
Fortunately, like most kids, Flea is an excellent reporter of the salient facts of her day. Oh yes. Every day, she emerges from school with one, single headline that encapsulates her experience – and any subsequent questions are met with “I don’t know”, “I can’t remember” or “okay”.
Of course, Flea’s idea of a headline isn’t necessarily my idea of a headline. While it would be nice to hear about her teacher, things she’s learned or friends she’s made, those are mere incidentals to Flea. Here are the headlines from Flea’s first five days of big school:
Day One: At lunch there was cake for pudding!
Day Two: We went to a special ‘sembly and the lady made a big fire.
Day Three: Natasha was sick on me and that’s why my blazer is a bit grubby.
Day Four: I opened the corridor door today. That has two ‘door’ sounds in it, you know.
Day Five: James dipped his tie in the sink and that’s why Mrs Edgar took it off.
Okay, so it's not exactly what I might have expected, but you have to admit, it definitely paints a picture, right?