Ferris said it best.

Photo Flikr/Paraflyer

I’m off to that there London tomorrow for some meetings then I’ve got a few days holiday before Flea starts school.

Perfect timing.

Certain minority factions in the Mummy blogging community have got their collective knickers in a twist and it’s all threats of legal action, people leaving communities, and people getting their feelings trampled all over left, right and centre. God, it’s like Mumsnet all over again.

It’s so easy to be offended by something on the Internet, isn’t it? To imagine slights where they don’t exist, to gather your virtual friends around you in a posse and destroy your virtual enemies. It's so easy to point out someone else's failings, to tell them where they're going wrong and you're going right (of course). It's so easy not to give someone the benefit of the doubt; not to assume their intentions were probably good at the time.

I think there’s a uniquely female characteristic that means some women need feuds like the rest of us need oxygen. I recently stopped working with a couple of women who had precisely this attitude – there was an “Enemies” folder on the computer, Google Searches to track the activities of anyone who annoyed them, and a big hand-written poster on the wall with FOAD written on in marker pen (look it up).

I just don’t understand the mentality. Why waste so much time and energy being offended by something that really? Doesn’t matter. How much free time do you have, woman? When you get to the pearly gates, will you be glad you spent those precious days hunting down your imagined enemies, or will you wish you’d spent a little more time with your children?

Like Ferris said: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

Have a great week. Can we try and be a bit more normal when I get back? That'd be great.


Sally is a full-time blogger and founder of the Tots100, Trips100, Foodies100 and HIBS100 communities, along with the MAD Blog Awards. She spends a bit too much time on the Internet. She’s also a very happy Mum to Flea, the world’s coolest ten year old.

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  1. 26th August 2009 / 10:18 pm

    Am so with you on this! How many phrases are there that sum this up.. tho I think Ferris gets it down pretty well! “Life is too short” and “You cant please all the people all the time” are two that spring to mind right off the bat. I use the internet to write because there’s no other way for me to indulge my creative foray into this supposed “sacred” world! So what if if I’m not qualified or I don’t do it as well as others? I still enjoy it, I’m thrilled when someone likes what I write and takes the time to comment and I hold no grudge towards those who make a living out of it. To anyone who wants to take issue with a blogger who is perhaps not to their taste or to anyone who gets vindictive… I have just one thing to say… Bite Me.
    Hope your meeting goes well and enjoy your last days of freedom before school. I still have Fridays pre school leavers party to get through yet… have cried twice already!

  2. Sally
    26th August 2009 / 11:34 pm

    @ThatGirl – Ferris always says it best, in my book.
    I’ve found out tonight that some of the vindictiveness stems from a huge misunderstanding, which is annoying but also a huge relief. Anger from a misunderstanding, I can deal with. It’s mindless anger that upsets me greatly.
    But it’s helped restore some of my faith and my shiny optimism.
    I can see now why certain people are behaving the way they are – I still think they’re wrong but at least I can see a reason for their actions, now. It gives us a hope of reasoned resolution.
    Here’s what I say: hurrah for Ferris, hurrah for Mummy bloggers and screen shots, and a big fat BITE ME to psycho Twitter stalkers who like to cause trouble.

  3. Just a Mum
    27th August 2009 / 1:35 am

    Have a lovely break, you deserve it. I’ve been following the comments and I personally think you’ve been extremely measured and balanced, but several other people do not come out of this well at all. Well done you!

  4. 27th August 2009 / 8:09 am

    Enjoy your break Sally! You deserve some R&R – I prescribe lots of ice cream and giggles with Flea x

  5. notSupermum
    27th August 2009 / 8:32 am

    Have a good meeting and enjoy your short break. The last few days have been quite bizarre, and I’m totally with you in saying that life is indeed too short to get caught up in this type of thing.
    I’ve admired your restraint and calm approach to it all though, so well done you.

  6. 27th August 2009 / 9:42 am

    Me, I’m busy keeping out of it.
    I wrote a post, not mentioning anyone, not directed at anyone, but I just couldn’t bring myself to publish. Instead I’m busy ‘looking around’.
    Keep steady and enjoy the break.
    It will all come out in the wash…

  7. 27th August 2009 / 3:22 pm

    Hello there
    Just a quick note to say thank you so much for the Top 100: I hadn’t realised Mrs Trefusis was on it but I’m so thrilled to find it is. Thank you very much indeed (I’d better write something about the infants now)
    Anyway, thank you. And I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog. I’m sorry I haven’t discovered it before, but I will be back

  8. 27th August 2009 / 7:15 pm

    Enjoy your days off. I also sent you a great read award.

  9. 28th August 2009 / 5:07 pm

    one of the reasons I’m not all that active in the community (or haven’t been up to this point). Every time I read about this sort of thing I just want to crawl back to my little blog hole. I hope everyone just settles down a bit. I’m really loving discovering the Brit blogging scene after so many years of reading US blogs and wishing we had a vibrant and active community here. Now that I’ve found it I would hate to crawl back into my hole because of a minority of ppl who feel they’re great and better than everyone else.

  10. Happy Mum
    1st September 2009 / 9:42 am

    What is happening around the blogging world?? everywhere I look there is something along these lines…
    Anyway I totally agree with you on that one! Have a good deserved break and see you when you are back! 🙂

  11. 7th September 2009 / 2:11 pm

    I’ve obviously missed something important. Sorry that it seems to have made life a hassle for you recently.
    Since my son became ill I’ve stepped back from mummyblogging (not by choice) but perhaps that has been a good thing by the sounds of it. I no longer sweat the small stuff and I really don’t have the patience or understanding anymore for feuding. Life is definitely too short for that!

  12. 8th September 2009 / 6:33 pm

    Your post reminded me of the saying, “We judge ourselves by our intentions, and others by their actions.”!
    Great blog, btw!

  13. Sally
    9th September 2009 / 9:25 am

    Thanks for all the comments.
    Turns out a break was just what was needed – things seem to be back to a happy normal. Hurrah.