Another tag today, this time from Sandy who has asked me to share my ‘dream’.
I was all set to tell you about the place in the picture. Except if I told you, then you might go there and it wouldn't be my secret retreat any more.
So, never one to give a simple answer when an out-and-out dodge is available, I thought about it and decided that my dream is what I have right now. Is that cheating? Ah well, anyway, here goes:
I’ve had a tricky few years: miscarriage, disastrous (albeit brief) marriage, losing my house, having to leave the city I'd made my home, single parenting, ex going bankrupt, trusted friend turning psycho, and some exceptionally bad haircuts. And my coping strategy has always been to think: “I have a goal. And every day I go to bed one step closer to the goal, the day isn’t a write-off.”
Except I was listening to The Climb a couple of weeks back (yes, it’s a Miley Cyrus track, and yes, I do realise my credibility just disappeared round the u-bend). There’s a lyric, though, that made me think: “I may not know it, but these are the moments, I’m gonna remember most”.
I worry I’ve let three amazing years pass me by because I’ve had half my mind wishing I was somewhere else. Focusing on getting through the bad means you're less able to see the good – and there's been a lot of it, despite the trickier stuff. Having watched my brother die from a brain tumour at the age of 27, I’ve seen that life’s short. Too short to waste time.
So my dream is this: that I will remember every day to look around and be thankful for what I have, to cherish the life I'm lucky to have, and remember that it's a journey not a destination.
Tonight the chap arrived at our place after a week working in London. We sat in the lounge, lit some candles. He laughed at my stories and we played guitar – one of us significantly less well than the other. He made sick faces but let me play Sarah McLachlan on Spotify. Then we made popcorn and watched a movie. It was a good night. And that’s enough.
That said, if anyone would like to give me a fake passport, a beach house in Nantucket and a book deal, that’d be okay, I suppose.
And I tag five blogs I’ve recently discovered, if they’d like to share their eminently better answers than mine. So, bloggers, what’s your dream? They are Welsh Hills Again, who makes me wish I had a garden; My Hodge Podge Life because she’s new to blogging, and I like her virtual scrapbooks; Welcome to my World, Jan Mary – another blog with stunning photography that really lifts my mood when I look at it; Tattie Weasle, because I don’t know how I didn’t find her sooner. And finally, Leslieanne at Kooky Boutique because she says she’s a daydreamer and I want to know what she daydreams about.
Oh Sally, you made me cry again. I think that’s one of the most moving posts I’ve ever read. You’re so right.
I’m sorry to hear about your brother. My brother died at 25. Rubbish, isn’t it?
Going to blow my nose now and hug my boys.
Beautiful. And you are completely right of course (except about the Miley Cyrus bit which fifteen kinds of wrong).
Dreaming is all well and good, dreaming is GREAT in fact, and god knows I do a lot of it. But not at the expense of now. Sometimes my now is not the easiest thing to be contented with, but then a stupid thing, like Kai sitting a twiddling the cats ears like he’s tuning a radio, remind me I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
I’m so sad to read of all the things that have brought you to this place. But very happy you find yourself somewhere that, despite all the crap along the way, is just where you want to be.
x
This bit:
“So my dream is this: that I will remember every day to look around and be thankful for what I have, to cherish the life I’m lucky to have, and remember that it’s a journey not a destination.”
Exactly. I wrote a poem on my blog last week called ‘Today’s the day’ with similar sentiments.
We lost my mother in law to a brain tumour 5.5 years ago. Life is too short and it made us realise that we had to stop avoiding the future and just get on with it. You really do only get one chance and every passing second is gone forever.
Thanks for a beautiful post.
x
Lovely lovely post, its great hearing everyones dreams. You are so right about life being a journey, its one that I find very difficult to appreciate a lot of the time though, you have made me think.
Wonderful blog. I too am sorry for what has brought you here but agree wholeheartedly with your resolution to live the journey. Thanks for the tag but I shall look like a copycat. I am living my dream right now. I’ll have a go.
Thanks for the link, and saying such lovely things 🙂
Beautiful dream and great attitude to life.
Will try to blog about my dream soon (but I am terrible at remembering to do these!) but in the meantime, one of my dreams is to take kids to Cape Cod (so almost Nantucket) and looks like if might just happen next summer. Arranging a house exchange which will include a week in their holiday home on Cape Cod and 2 weeks in Boston – so dreams can come true.
Hope yours do too.
@Sandy – Thanks. Losing a sibling is rubbish, and I think it does change you – it makes me much less tolerant of toxic people and situations, I must admit, but it’s still so easy to forget how short life can be. More hugs!
@Josie – Ah, you don’t need to feel sad, I don’t think anything that’s happened to me is any harder than anything that happens to anyone else, it’s just life, isn’t it? But it’s too easy to defer happiness, I think, and focus on “I’ll be happy when I have the right job/house/relationship/figure” I think it’s good to remind yourself every so often what a waste those thoughts really are.
@Insomniac Mummy – I’m off to check your poem thanks for commenting.
@zooarcheologist – It is great reading about dreams, isn’t it? I’m looking forward to seeing the meme travel.
@Elizabethm – excellent, look forward to reading it, and I love that you’re already living your dream. Totally inspiring!
@Janmary – Oh, I adore Cape Cod. I just find Nantucket that little bit more peaceful and remote, especially at the very end of the season. But we’re hoping to spend a month next year on the Cape Cod National Seashore, which is one of my favourite places in the world. I hope you all have a fab time.
Wonderful thought.
A very thoughtful and thought provoking post – now which dream shall I drag up and dust down some are old and some are new but I suspect they are all linked somehow. [Obviously some are also censored…..the ones involving George Clooney, Joseph Fiennes, Brad Pitt though NOT I hasten to say all at the same time…!]